A Christmas Carol

When I was growing up, learning English, it took me a while to understand who this Carol was, and why she was so Christmassy. Once I figured out that a carol was just another word for song, however (slightly disappointing, I must admit), it all made much more sense. What still doesn’t make sense, though, are the titles of the carols. Just look at the list below:

The Twelve Days of Christmas 

Which twelve days are we talking about? Even in Norway, where we do our best to stretch every holiday as long as we can, where many people take time off between Christmas and New Year, Christmas only lasts for a week. You can perhaps stretch it to eight or nine days, depending on whether you count the night before Christmas Eve (“Little Christmas Eve” as we like to call it) and the day after New Years (“Hangover”), but still… Twelve? I wish!

Ding Dong Merrily on High

Well, someone’s been on a high, alright…

Deck the Halls

I’m confused. While I realize the lyrics imply that the halls (which halls? All of them?) shall be covered with boughs of holly, the dictionary suggests many alternative meanings for this word. Such as

1. A platform extending horizontally from one side of a ship to the other.

2. 

a. A platform or surface likened to a ship's deck.

b. A roofless, floored structure, typically with a railing, that adjoins a house.

c. The roadway of a bridge or an elevated freeway.

3.

a. A pack of playing cards.

b. A group of data processing cards.

4. A tape deck.

5. Slang A packet of narcotics.

tr.v. decked, deck·ing, decks

1. To furnish with or as if with a deck.

2. Slang To knock down: He decked his sparring partner.

(From The Free Dictionary by Farlex) 

How, then, can we be absolutely sure we're doing the right thing according to this carol. Are we supposed to build a roofless, floored structure of holly, or perhaps this is a proposal to get into drugs! I’m particularly fond of the implications of the last suggestion – let’s knock down the halls with holly! (though I imagine it might take some time…)

Silent Night

The “silent” night this title refers to is the one when Jesus was born. Now, I have only been present at one birth (my own), and thus I am no expert, but I believe it is common knowledge that giving birth is not a particularly silent affair. And Mary’s delivery took place millennia before epidural was an option, so I’m guessing the Holy Mother got to test her vocal chords that night. But “A Night Filled With the Agony Screams of a Virgin” probably wasn’t considered an appropriate title back in 1818 when this song was written…

O Tannenbaum

O Wunderbaum?

While this title actually makes perfectly sense in the original German, it always makes me giggle. Why? Well, simply because it reminds me an awful lot about the little air “fresheners” known as Little Tree, or Wunderbaum. 

White Christmas

You can dream all you want, Bing, but with the global climate change threat hanging over all of our heads, I don’t think it’s very likely the dream will come true. Well, except for here, in Norway, where it already is white, and it has been for a while. But even if the Christmas Present isn’t a prime example, many Christmasses Past (and many Future, I fear) were green, or grey, or brown or whatever variety your non-snowy Christmas will take.

Let It Snow

(see above)

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

While this song technically ends well (they find a use for Rudolf, after all), I don’t like the fact that Rudolph’s red nose has to be a factor at all. After all, he probably only has a really bad sinus infection, and after having been on a 100-a-day Kleenex prescription for a few days I can assure you that’s no picnic. I wouldn’t want a song written about my red nose, so I’m guessing Rudolph isn’t to cheery either.  

Little Drummer Boy?

The Little Drummer Boy

I think it is good that someone else than the lead singer gets some attention, I really do. However, I have no idea what this has to do with Christmas.

The only one that really makes sense is the good, old “The Christmas Song”. No confusion there. It’s pretty straightforward, really – it’s Christmas, and this is the song that accompanies it. The Christmas Song. Even if the title makes sense, however, I question the lyrics. “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” First of all – if you’re roasting something, you ought to make sure there isn’t so much a fire as embers. If you try to roast something while there is still a fire, it will only taste smoke. Secondly, I’ve always imagined that roasted chestnuts would taste amazing, but I don’t think I’ve ever been so disappointed in my life as I was when I actually tried it. It tasted… Well, it tasted like they’d been roasted over an open fire (not embers). It was almost like eating charcoal (not that I’ve tried). I don’t recommend it. 

So there. If you thought Christmas was crazy, I have now presented the evidence. But no worries – it’s almost over, and it will be a whole year before we have to consider Christmas for “Topical Tuesday” again…

Random Wednesday: Music

Every morning, I place my iTunes on shuffle because I need some type of motivation to get my butt to work. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. It would just be easier if I could be there at 9:00 a.m. rather than 7:30 am. This later start time would mean that I could leave home and travel to the city while there is daylight rather than the cold bleary darkness of the wee hours of the morning.

I have a little over 7,000 songs on my iTunes, ranging from the 1950s to the present. Today I had a feeling for the 70s. I sorted the songs according to release date and clicked play. KC and the Sunshine band began crooning to a familiar song from my childhood. I had no idea that KC and the Sunshine band sang "That's the Way (I Like It)." First of all, I thought this was a song from the early 1980's, since I used to play patty cake in the school yard with my friends using this very song.


Second of all, I never heard my mother play this record on her record player. Remember those? The square box that played circular, plastic discs placed on a flat, spinning circle, with a long rectangular appendage that has a needle on it. I remember stealing the little red plastic disc for 45s and playing skellsies (an urban game played with bottle tops, filled with gum, and knocking your opponent out of a large chalk-drawn grid), then getting grounded when she wanted to play a record.


But I am going off on a tangent now. Music is more than just beats put together with vocals. For me, music is an irrefutable connection to others, it is a way of identifying those feelings that I thought were lost, and finally, it is a sentient entity that transports me to a different time and place. I often hear these songs and think of my mother with her bell bottom polyester pants, tube top and her high heeled wedges. She would pick her hair out so it looked like one big puff ball. I remember the aluminum foil covered ceilings and the brightly colored moons and stars on the living room walls. Yup, my mom was definitely a Disco Diva.

And in reverence of my mother's eclectic tastes in 1970's music, these are my ten top favorite 70s songs:

1. Roberta Flack- "Killing Me Softly"
2. Diana Ross- "I'm Coming Out"
3. Donna Summers- "Last Chance"
   
4. Jackson 5- "The Love You Save"
5. Marvin Gaye- "What's Going On?"
6. Don McLean- "American Pie"
7. Diana Ross- The Theme from Mahogany "Do You Know Where You're Going To?"
   
8. Labelle- "Lady Marmalade"
9. Elton John and Kiki Dee- "Don't Go Breaking My Heart"
10. Queen- "Somebody to Love"

Mommy, this was for you!

What's your favorite song of the 1970's? Was it the Bee Gee's Staying Alive? Or perhaps Walk This Way by Aerosmith before they mashed it with Run DMC's rap? Share with us, we would like to know.