Reading Monday: Office and Young Adult

This book list is a bit eclectic.  I've read a  book written by an actor who plays a character on The Office (American version).  The first two are books on the list are generally out of my genre preference but I figured "What the hell!"


Mindy Kaling-  Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
This is a quirky and funny memoir of how Mindy Kaling came to be Kelly Kapoor on The Office. It discusses her trials, insecurities, successes and inevitable goal of becoming a comedy writer.  It's a quick read, humorous and very entertaining.


Rainn Wilson- SoulPancake
This book is actually on my wishlist of must read.  From what I have read on the reviews on Amazon, it is a book about the philosophical questions in life.  Some questions that Rainn tries to tackle are:
"Can men and women really just be friends?
If you only had one hour to live, how would you spend it?
What paralyzes your creativity? What fuels it?"
These are questions that have plagued the human race since the beginning of our evolution.  It's based on his website, also called SoulPancake, and it stimulates really insightful ideas on how as a species, we can move forward. It also incorporates some really spectacular artwork.  As soon as my funds are right, this is my next book to read.


Darren Shan- Vampire Assistant 4, 5, 6
I think I have already written a little blurb on the previous books (1, 2, 3).   I really didn't enjoy Book 2 and Book 3 as much as I am enjoying these later ones. (I know- why read them?  Because when I start a series, I have this inner mechanism that makes me finish the whole thing.  Weird, I know.) They are fast paced, with plenty of action for all you adrenaline junkies out there and it delves into the question of losing one's humanity.  Darren is torn between his brethren vampires and his ties to his human life.  It is inevitable that he must become a vampire but interesting to contemplate all that he must give up at the age of 16.




These next two books are reviews from my 16 year old daughter, Ayanna Rodriguez.


Alice Sebold- Lucky
In the memoir Lucky by Alice Sebold, the author depicts the terror of being raped and of overcoming the problems she is facing. Sebold is a straight-forward writer and when reading this book you will begin by going to the scene where she was raped. After telling the police she goes home and tries to live a normal life with her parents and sister, Mary. Unfortunately, she knows she can’t live an ordinary life, she believes she will never find anyone special to her heart due to the circumstance. She relives her childhood, going back and forth to tell the story. This is a rather interesting tale, but I do not recommend this memoir to young adults. If you decide to read this book, please have the stomach for it.


Loung Ung- First They Killed My Father
Loung Ung tells of her childhood in the memoir First They Killed My Father, she begins as a 5 year-old in her small town of Phnom Penh.  Loung is one of seven siblings, she is the second youngest. Soldiers enter their city and begin abducting women and young males, for reasons such as pleasure and having new recruits. Ung’s eldest and second eldest brothers are forced into labor camps. She goes through a hard time and loses many people she loves, but will she overcome the issues she has waiting for her? This memoir is for those who like to watch hope mend broken hearts and broken bonds. Hope you enjoy this memoir because I did.


What books have you read lately?  What books would you recommend?




Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.  

It's All A Game... Apparently.

You know, my fellow Burrowers all do so well with their book recommendations. There is always a good selection (usually ones that I haven't read), and their reviews are always interesting. I really fall down with 'Reading Monday' (and 'Writing Wednesday' too, actually) because I just don't have the reading 'experience' that my buddies have. I read, obviously, and I read a lot, but I'm a creature of habit and tend to stick to a core selection of favourites that I have built up over the last twenty years or so. Needless to say, almost all of my dog-eared old friends have already been covered in our weekly 'Reading Monday' slot.

Luckily enough, I recently stumbled onto a new favourite. It's rare that this happens, and I am extra happy because not only have I discovered some new reading material, but it has timed perfectly with today's post.

A couple of months ago I saw a new series being advertised on TV, and fellow Burrower Mari also got wind of it and asked if I was planning on watching it. The series seemed fantasy-based, had a medieval look to it, and promised lots of action and drama. Right up my alley, in fact. And so hubby and I began watching 'Game of Thrones.'

Me being me, I didn't even know that the series was based on a book. In fact, I was around half way through watching the series before I decided to do a bit of Googling (I Google all the time. I'm a nut. Comes from being an excellent procrastinator. *nods*). Anyway, I was delighted to discover that I didn't have to wait until the end of the series (another four or five episodes) to find out what happened next. I was equally delighted that the hubby was also interested in reading the book, and was due a very handy birthday the very same month. *grins*

Of course, my Googling turned up not just one book, but an entire series. Yay! On the downside, the series is ongoing, so there will be a frustrating wait to find out what happens in the end after all. Obviously I bought the hubby the first four books (which I finished reading in just over a week *shifty*), and the fifth is due for release this month (just in time for my birthday, as it happens...). The last two installments will be quite some time in coming, alas, but I suppose I shouldn't be greedy. After all, there are fans who have been reading these books for years, and I've only known about them for a month or so.

So I suppose I should tell you a little bit about the book(s). It's actually quite difficult to describe; I wouldn't strictly call them fantasy, though there are elements that lean that way, granted. It has the general good guys/bad guys sort of theme, there is plenty of action, and there are elements of romance dotted throughout. There are plenty of main characters, with each chapter being told from one person's point of view. Standard fantasy fare for the most part, in fact. But added to these predictable elements are incest, strong language, plenty of sex, and gruesome violence. Not your general Tolkien by any means.

Game of Thrones - the first book of the series - mostly follows Ned Stark and his family as they are uprooted from their home and relocated to King's Landing, the home of Stark's friend, King Robert Baratheon. Robert requires Ned to be the 'King's Hand', a position that is as dangerous as it is powerful. Although Ned is reluctant to leave his home, he agrees to go, and thus sets in motion a chain of events that changes the fate of every member of the Stark family.

The principle antagonists are the Lannister family, of which King Robert's wife is a member. The previous King was murdered fifteen years prior to the beginning of the novel, and the Lannisters played a key part. Power-hungry, often vicious, rarely merciful, the Lannisters are a perfect example of a family who let ambition rule their actions.

The 'Game' in the book's title refers to the ongoing storyline of the struggle to unite under one King. At one point, there are five 'Kings', all determined to to sit on the Iron Throne at King's Landing. Beside Robert and his heir Joffrey (a nasty, evil little toad of a boy), there are Robert's brothers, one of Stark's sons, and the children of the murdered King of fifteen years past.

As I said, each chapter is told from one person's point of view, and while I'm not a huge fan of this particular style, it definitely works with this type of novel. Having so many characters can be dangerous, confusing the reader no end if it isn't done properly. Thankfully, the multiple points of view firmly imprint each character into our heads, and once you are a few chapters in, you know most of the principal characters and have a good idea of what motivates them.

I don't want to describe it too much as I don't like giving the plot away, but if you like fantasy, then you'll enjoy this. If you like gritty family drama, then you'll enjoy this. If you like sex, violence and quirky characters, then you'll enjoy this.

Oh, and there's dragons. Eventually. Nuff said.

Picture borrowed from Wiki.

My favourite (and not so favourite) Indian books

I am not sure if as many people have growing up reading Enid Blyton in her native England, as they have in India. Ask anyone of my age and background to name the first book they remember reading, and I am willing to bet my dog-eared copy of 'Five go off in a Caravan' that it will be an Enid Blyton book they mention. None of us had ever had bacon and eggs for breakfast and scones for tea, but all of us knew that scones were not scones unless they came with lashings of butter.

With Julian, Dick, George and Ann, and Timmy the dog as childhood companions, and Nancy Drew and Sherlock Holmes forming the logical progression, it is no wonder that I was well into my late teens when I first started reading Indian authors.

The first "Indian" author I remember reading was Salman Rushdie. Everyone, and their second cousin by marraige twice removed, had told me that 'Midnight's Children' was a MASTERPIECE, and curiosity finally got the better of me, and I checked the book out of the library. I expected brilliance, and did not get it. I lowered my expectaions, but the book still did not engage. And I finally ended up finishing the book only because I had yet to realise that my time was too precious to waste on misgotten ideals like 'you started a book, you got to finish it'.

The second "Indian" author I read was Arundhati Roy. I had fallen in love with her as the protagonist of an English language, quirky, campus movie that enjoyed unparalled success within a very select audience, and I wanted to read the book that had got the unparalled advance that it had got. 'God of Small Things, was another of those books that I finished only because I did not like not finishing books. Elegant prose if you pick a page at random and read only one page. But unbelievable characters, and a plot that I thought was non-existent. Maybe I am doing the book an injustice, but not even one scene stands out, which leads me to believe the book was entirely forgettable.

I took a decision NEVER to read any more books by Indian authors, but since I had already purchased Shashi Tharoor's 'The Great Indian Novel", I decided to make that the last book I ever read. I am glad I did. Tharoor took India's greatest mythological story and adapted it to the current political scenario. It was not the most imaginative of plots (I can think of at least two Bollywood potboilers which are based on a re-telling of the Mahabharata), and at the time when I read it, the book was at least two decades outdated. But it was Brilliant. Some references were obvious, and others were too smart for me, but there were enough obscure references which you felt good when you managed to crack. A familiarity with the original story, and a knowledge of the history of the first three decades of Indian independence is needed to make sense of the book, but it is a book I would recommend unhesitantly to anyone who knows a bit about India.

By now, I could see the pattern emerging. For a book written by an Indian in English to be popular, it seemed necessary to have a very strong mystical, exotic and/ or poverty striken angle to it. But was that really India? Wasn't India a lot more complex than just that? Shouldn't books written by Indians and set in India deal with issues that occupied mind-space in India?

Shashi Tharoor gave me that book. 'Riot' is the story of a small Indian town torn by religious violence told from multiple perspectives. In hindsight, the protagonists were almost predictable- the do-gooder American wanting to discover India, and doing so insite the pants of a seemingly upright civil servant. The Hindu and the Muslim. The fundamentalist, and the seculars. The perpecturators and the victims. But what I loved about the book was the way the author portrayed 'reality' from each of their perspectives. It was a book that I ended up recommending to many people, less for the literary merits of the book and more for the balanced picture it painted of the country.

After Riot, I decided to read "Indian" authors without thinking of them as "Indian" authors. I expected nothing more or less than a decent story, well written from them. If the characters and situations seemed familiar, I would be happy. If they did not sound familiar, I would just pretend they belonged to a foreign setting. The book I read immediately after taking that decision was the book which I still consider one of the best books I have ever read.

Vikram Seth hit the headlines when I was a teenager because of "The Golden Gate", the novel written entirely in sonnets. Much as I was captivated by the novelty, I knew better than to attempt reading the book. Instead, I waited for 'A Suitable Boy' to lose my Seth virginity to. And a better book I could not have chosen. Characters I could relate to, circumstances that sounded so familiar I could have lived them myself, believable story line, great storytelling. What's not to adore? And the best part of 'A Suitable Boy' was the fact that in an absolutely non-pedagogical manner, the author was giving me nuggets about my country that I had not even suspected existed. Most people comment on the length of the book - not me. I would not want a single paragraph from that book deleted.

After that there was a whole bunch of books that I sort of liked (The White Tiger, Q&A, The Village by the Sea) even with being aware of their shortcomings, another bunch of books that I refused to finish (The Inheritance of Loss, Calcutta Chromosome), and a very large bunch of books that I refused even to pick up. One book, and only one book, stands apart from that lot.

Rohinton Mistry's "A Fine Balance", was a book I picked up, strangely, because Cruella asked me if I had read it, and what I thought of it if I had read it. It had been a book I had been intending to read for a very long time, but which needed a catalyst to actually get me reading. And I am glad I did. Set in a particularly unsavourable period of recent Indian history, it is the story of four characters I have never met, and would never meet. The book got me thinking like few works of fiction have- it tied together all those assorted conversations which I had with various people, and from which I missed the core point. It made me start reflecting on the real cause of India's ills, and led me, many months and many conversations later, to hone in on what I now believe is the thing we most need to change in our society.  I am not sure if everyone who reads the book will take-away what I did from it, but even otherwise, it is a book worth reading, if only for a story well told.

I could perhaps go on much longer with my opinions on "Indian" books, but that can be kept for Part 2.

Fondness for Fluff

Happy Valentine's Day one and all! In honour of the occasion, this post is dedicated to the romance genre, and I'm quite happy (for once!) to be doing a 'Reading Monday' post. I've been reading 'fluff' (as I like to call it, which is in no way a derogatory term by the way, far from it) for almost twenty years, so obviously I'm a fan. Of course, I'll read - and enjoy - just about anything (as long as it isn't anything to do with maths or science), so calling myself a 'fan' is maybe a bit of a stretch, but I have to admit there are certain times when only fluff will do. It's usually light reading, and as a general rule tends to have a happy ending, so it's an excellent form of escapism.


Romance is usually termed as 'Chick-lit', and probably rightly so. Most men either don't 'get' romance (rather like I don't 'get' maths and science *snort*), or will never admit to enjoying it simply because the words 'enjoy', 'romance', and 'men' in one sentence are liable to cause most of the male population to come out in hives. In all fairness, a lot of women are wary about admitting a fondness for fluff too; it just isn't considered a 'cool' thing. This, I personally think, is completely stupid. *nods firmly* The romance genre is one of the most marketable genres out there, so it's not like you'd be admitting to being a freak if you decided to declare your liking for it. There are plenty of fans out there, closet or not.

I admit, my reading range is fairly wide, so romance isn't the only thing I enjoy, and usually whatever book I am reading tends to reflect my current mood, so I could go months of reading anything but fluff before I get back to it. But although I've been reading fluff off and on for a long time, it was only really two years ago that I started reading it fairly regularly again. I had major computer problems back in 2009 and consequently found myself with large chunks of time to fill in place of my usual evenings on the internet. My local library is fairly small, so as I worked my way through it I inevitably arrived at the romance section, and soon discovered the delights of Julia Quinn.

Julia Quinn writes historical romance, which apart from my annual reading of Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice, was pretty much uncharted territory for me. I selected a couple of titles randomly from the shelf - mostly because the covers appealed to me - and took them home with a bunch of others. I think, if I remember rightly, I read the other selections before I got around to them, as I wasn't really expecting to enjoy them.

But I was in for a surprise, because I really did enjoy them. Despite the Regency references, and the more formal turn of phrase, these books could almost be set in modern times. There was none of the stuffiness that I'd expected (I don't really know why I'd expected stuffiness, I just did) and the humour running throughout was enough to make me snort a fair number of times. Quinn tends to write some spicy scenes too - another thing that I'd somehow never expected from a Regency novel (oh how innocent I was *smirk*) - but it is never overly done, and it somehow ends up being sweet as well as spicy, which is definitely more to my taste than out and out smut.

Yes, I know. You would think that as someone who sees smut in pretty much everything, I would enjoy reading it, but despite my love of all things innuendo, I can be somewhat prudish when it comes to my reading material.

Anyway, back to Quinn. The majority of her novels - although they can be enjoyed independently - are either half of a duo, or form part of the eight book Bridgerton series. I don't really think I can pick a favourite because they all have elements that I have enjoyed, but at a pinch I would most recommend the Bridgerton series. The series follows the relationships of the widowed Lady Bridgerton's eight children, and they are full of fun, sparkle, and memorable characters. As well as the main characters, Quinn has created her own little Regency World, and she has a fabulous cast of supporting characters that usually find themselves popping up at the inevitable social gatherings that were so central to upper class Regency life.

I think this is why I enjoy these books so much; not specifically for the romance itself, but because I love the array of characters that Quinn has created. I think the books are definitely more character than plot driven, and my own personal preference has always been for character driven novels. Quinn's characters are fun, funny, and fabulous to be around. And the fact that a familiar character is usually in the background in all of Quinn's novels makes them very comfortable reading. Just the ticket for those days when you are not feeling yourself.

And you know what? I actually spotted a man - yes! A male of our species! - picking a few Quinn titles up from the local library not too long ago. Okay, he was probably picking them up for his wife, but I choose to believe otherwise. *nods*

Anyway, for those of you would rather have your teeth pulled without anaesthesia than read a romance, grab one of Quinn's novels and have a go. You never know, you might like it.

Reading Monday: Haruki Murakami

In my native Norway, the only Japanese author most people are likely to know the name of is Haruki Murakami. Then again, Murakami is quite famous. Last summer, the distinguished author visited Norway for five weeks, culminating in a festival in his honour at the “Litteraturhuset” (House of Literature) in Oslo. The festival had a lot of visitors and Murakami was treated as a literary superstar in Norway. His own comment – “This is the coolest summer I have ever had in my life” – indicates that he appreciated the event, though one might speculate whether the wordsmith didn’t also hint at Norway’s climate; rather chilly if you’re used to Tokyo’s suffocating summers.

Since he has made such a name for himself in not only Norway, but throughout the world, it only was appropriate for me – Japan-lover as I’ve become over the years – to read the work of Japan’s most famous contemporary author. I haven’t yet covered everything he’s written (and I’m not sure I ever will – there are certain of his books I prefer over others, and some that don’t seem to fall into my sphere of interest at all) – in fact there is a brand new (though old) book of his at my night stand as we speak (or, as I type…) – I have read the books considered his most significant. Since it is Reading Monday I intend to share my experience of them with you.

Norwegian Wood

This was Murakami’s big break, and for obvious reasons also the book that made Norwegian readers interested. Even though the book has nothing to do with Norway, it flatters a country when it’s mentioned in a popular book title. So much, in fact, that Norway had a considerable effort in the recent promotion of the adapted version. I haven’t yet seen Norwegian Wood the movie, but I’m looking forward to it!

But the book, back to the book. I loved the story, loved the characters, but at one point was so convinced I knew where the story was going that I was disappointed when I was wrong. The danger of being fond of plotting, I guess...

Anyway – aside from the small plot disappointment, I really liked Norwegian Wood. Of the Murakami-books I’ve read, it’s the most “normal” one, in the sense that very few fantastical elements happens (I will get back to this). The story is one of nostalgia, sexual awakening and identity, and it underscores how people’s actions affect close ones, or not-so-close ones. Also, as the main story takes places in Tokyo, it offers an interesting addition to an (at least to me) otherwise chiefly Western rendition of student life in the 1960s.

A small warning, though. You will find the Beatles song stuck in your head, so you might as well just start listen to it right away… 

Kafka on the Shore

This is probably one of the most complex books I’ve ever read. It’s got two main plots – both of whom are quite challenging to follow. Yet, it can be read as a simple story about searching, for someone or something. The two main characters (Satoru and Kafka – not the author, but named after him) both leave their homes for very different reasons, their stories entwined in several ways, but they don’t actually fuse together. The characters are endearing, confusing, interesting, challenging, but never boring. The descriptions of music, of moods, of the places visited, make you feel that you’re listening, sensing, seeing, in that particular way only Murakami can. 

What often throws me off in Murakami’s books is his flirtation with magical realism. It’s something I don’t particularly care for. Often I find myself wondering why he includes this, and I usually end up feeling that there is something written between the lines that I am not capable of grasping. In Kafka on the Shore it is mostly Satoru’s story (visited by such celebrities as Johnny Walker and Colonel Sanders) that made me feel this way, and several times I found myself wishing that I could only read the other half of the book. But then these two stories are part of a larger whole, without which the book would not have been the same. Plus I was deeply fascinated by Satoru’s ability to talk to cats (a reference to The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles, by the way).

In the end, the mysticism is what makes the book, and I found myself trying to make my own explanations to the many enigmas. Definitely a book that makes you think!

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles

Of the Murakami-books I’ve read, this is my definite favourite. And yet I can’t actually explain why. I read it four years ago, when I last lived in Japan, and I seem to remember that it was anything but an easy read. I think I spent almost three months reading it (I know, actually, since I had to keep renewing my library loan). I never put it down because it was boring, but it had so many elements to process that it took a while for me to absorb them all. Trying to recall them all for this review I fail – completely – and trying to do a little online research in an attempt to remember the actual plot, I fail again.

So far I probably haven’t convinced you…

What I do remember, is how well crafted this book was. As a writer, I found it truly joyous to read. Each description – even the seemingly boring ones – were beautifully made. I remember most distinctly reading a passage about a woman getting dressed, described in such detail that any other author would have had to cut it from the book because it was completely irrelevant and dull. But not Murakami – not only did it not feel irrelevant (it felt like character description), it also did not feel dull. How he does it I cannot say, but it certainly was beautifully done.

In addition, I remember that the back story – one of the many subplot stories weaved into the main plot, captured me. As a historian I was fascinated with the fact that Murakami dared to address Japan’s controversial history. As a human being I was touched by the relationships described in such tender detail. As a philosopher (if I may…) I was intrigued by the fact that this book made me want to climb down a well and spend some time down there.

Common for all of Murakami’s (fiction) books is that they heavily reference popular culture, they (more or less) include elements of magical realism, and often they are both humoristic and confusing (which isn’t mutually excluding features, I guess…). Since I don’t speak Japanese I have always been forced to read Murakami’s books in translation, but I find that at least the English translation reads surprisingly smoothly  (I’m not as fond of the Norwegian translations, though). 


If you’re wondering what book to pick up next, I can definitely recommend a Murakami! 

Christmas Reads

Okay, so I am totally tardy and apologize. I have GREAT plans for NEXT WEEK but somehow forgot all about this week… forgive me please… I have editing brain.

As to this week’s post, I thought I’d go with some Christmas stories… seems fitting, ne? [I should probably admit beforehand, too, that in spite of Christmas having a specific meaning to Christians, I have geared toward more secular themes here.]

The Night Before Christmas

I had this story memorized at age 2—my mother thought I was actually reading. I loved it THAT MUCH. I can still say most of it (and periodically embarrass my children by breaking into it). When I was a kid cadence was EVERYTHING and this book has fabulous cadence and such a fun tale…

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Like all Seuss, this one ALSO has great cadence, but it is one of those I really prefer to WATCH. The book just doesn’t get across the same evil of the Grinch or evoke the same sympathy for Max.

The Polar Express

This book has beautiful art and a great story, though I confess it doesn’t meet my cadence junkie needs… but in terms of a more modern tale, this is one of the better ones.







And for older readers

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

This is one of those that I have seen MANY times and in many iterations and love the story, but I haven’t actually read it. I probably should…

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

This one isn’t JUST Christmas, but there is an important Christmas theme running through it—I think it is a good one to read around this time to make us all appreciate what is really important.






And though I haven’t read this next one… when I looked to see if there were adult Christmas book recommendations, I ran across one that I now HAVE TO FIND”

Holidays on Ice: Stories- David Sedaris

I’ve read enough Sedaris to know that this HAS to be fall-down funny, and I think I’ve heard essays from it on NPR—it includes an essay about working as an elf in a department store.

Why You Under No Circumstances Should Buy Books As Christmas Presents

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Christmas is drawing near. I’ve noticed. How could I not. As some of you know, I work part time in a bookstore. Since I finished my thesis (which explains my recent absence, and my even recenter return), the “part time” has become full time. Or rather, all time, at least until all Christmas presents are neatly tucked away under plastic and pine trees all across the country. You see, until I start “real” work in Tokyo, Japan, early 2011, I am trying to save up money so that I won’t have to live on nothing but rice and ramen noodles during my stay in Japan. Consequently, I work a lot.

Now, why am I telling you this today, on a Reading Monday? Well, the key word in the previous paragraph was “bookstore”. As Christmas is nearing, people are climbing out from every hidey-hole to purchase Christmas presents. Books make excellent Christmas presents. As an employee in a bookstore, I am obliged to say so. But in reality, I secretly wish people wouldn’t listen. You see, pre-Christmas in a bookstore (in fact, in most retail businesses, I would imagine) is CRAZY. Bonkers, absolutely nuts. And not the good kind that requires a nutcracker. Gone are such trifle things as courtesy, politeness and common sense. (If you don’t believe me, you should read what a very wise person wrote on this very subject almost exactly a year ago. She even wrote about it more than once!)

Now, I don’t have a problem with people buying books, in general. It’s people buying books as gifts. You see, this constitutes a problem because a)this often means they ask for recommendations beyond the stage “if you liked X, you will like Y” (in fact, many want me to tell them what to buy for people they know next to nothing about, and they expect me to come up with brilliant suggestions); b)this almost always means they want the books gift wrapped.

I don’t know how common this is other places in the world, but in Norway, at least, most bookstores offer gift wrapping as part of the service. Usually this is something I don’t mind, as I actually enjoy it, and books are easy to wrap anyway. The problem is that during December we usually have several times as many customers as usual, and they each buy more books per head than normal. And most of those books are gifts.

Let’s do some math (because, as a historian, that is what I most capable of...). The previous Saturday was the third to last Saturday before Christmas. This, in all likelihood, makes it the third most busy day this year. We were open from 10 am to 7 pm, 9 hours total. Judging by the total amounts of earnings that day, and a broad guess of the approximate average total spending per customer, I think it is fair to assume that we had about 400 customers in the store that day. When it’s a busy day like that, I spend between 30 seconds and 1 minute per customer, if the exchange consists of nothing else than the normal polite phrases, paying for the purchase and putting it in a bag. That even includes writing a gift receipt and giving out a pre-rolled roll of wrapping paper.

Now, after having worked in the business for some eight years, I am a speedy wrapper. However, even at my pace, it’ll still take 30 seconds to 1 minute extra per book per customer if they insist on gift wrapping. That means that the time spent per customer is at least doubled, possibly tripled (and so on, depending on the amount of books they purchase).

If we assume that we had 400 customers (and remember I am only counting paying customers. Thus, anyone [and this is a considerable number too] asking a question but not actually buying anything, is not accounted for in this example) this Saturday. That means that the total amount of time spent on customers without gift wrapping is 400 x 1 minute = 400 minutes = 6 hours and 40 minutes. If you add one gift per customer, that doubles the time, hence we’re up in 13 hours and 20 minutes. Of course, I’m not alone in the store, so our 9 opening hours are multiplied by the number of employees. On Saturday we were five (but none of us work the entire shift – so in total we had about 35 hours of total employed time). You might say that out of 35 hours, a little over 13 hours in handling customers is not so much. True, but remember that this does not account for the non-sale exchanges with customers. We all easily spend between two and three hours answering questions, recommending books and giving directions to the exact location of books. This means another 15 hours. In addition we spend time on unpacking things we’ve ordered, contacting customers that have ordered books and tidying up the store (Christmas shoppers are also messy!).

Our hours simply don’t cover it all. All through December there are things left undone, and as a consequence, we try to limit the activities we can save time on. Like gift wrapping. We ask, politely, if each customer kindly would accept a complimentary roll of wrapping paper, which will save us some time, and limit the waiting line. Most people understand this, as most people know how annoying it is to wait in line. However, some people just don’t accept these terms. “I don’t have the time to do it” (Really? I’ve just told you, it literally takes a minute – perhaps two since you don’t have my training); “It looks prettier when you do it” (Perhaps, but honestly, how much of a difference does it make when I give you the same paper, and I am also willing to give you the same ribbon I would have used?); and my personal favourite: “I don’t know how.” Seriously. You don’t know how to gift wrap a book? It is flat, rectangular, and it doesn’t move around. If you don’t have the physiology to put wrapping paper around a book, I highly doubt you are capable of functioning in the modern society. You can navigate an iPhone, but you can’t wrap a book? Right...

I try not to argue too much with the customers who insist on gift wrapping even if it does mean longer waiting lines for everyone. Not because the customer is always right (that is a truth of moderation, if you ask me), but because it takes longer (approx. 2-4 minutes) arguing with a riled-up Christmas shopper than it does to wrap the darned book. But I sometimes make a point of picking a ribbon that doesn’t go with the paper. It’s just my way of spitting in their food.

Anyway, since I’m tired of having this argument, I thought it was time to settle it once and for all. Thus, here is a quick tutorial for how to wrap a book (feel free to go “duh” any moment now...):

Step 1: place book on an appropriately size of wrapping paper (the piece in the picture is slightly big, because I was too lazy to cut it properly). Warning! Beware of paper cuts! 

Mornings in Jenin by Susan Abulhawa is incidentally an excellent choice if you do insist on buying books for Christmas this year. Or for any other occasion for that matter. 

Step 2: Fold the paper around the book.

Step 3: Fold the other end in, and then around the book. Secure with tape.

Step 4: Fold and tuck in the right edge, secure with tape. Repeat on left side.

Step 5: Turn around. Voila! Wrapped book! If you want ribbon on the book, proceed to step 6.

Step 6: Pull ribbon around the book. Secure with knot. 

Step 7: Curl edges with sharp object, such as scissors. Warning! Don't cut yourself!  

Step 8: Curl up curled ribbon ends into ball. Tuck it under the knot. And you're done. Finito. It's that simple. I swear. You can do it! 

I may have bored you with my numbers and my mock tutorial, but the message is clear: please, please, continue buying books. BUT do you have to buy them as presents? And even if you do, reconsider asking the store personnel to gift wrap it, at least this close to Christmas... 

If they liked...

It's happened to all of us. We finish a book - maybe even a whole series - and we are SO not ready to have it end, but it did, and now we're bereft. "What do I read NOW?" we cry, vainly seeking the next literary fix. Worry no more, my friends - I've got suggestions for kids through - erm - well, I don't tend to put upper age limits on things, so just consider that open-ended. Or what if your son/daughter/whoever is ready to move up a level but still wants the same topic? Some suggestions for that too. But why am I doing this post now? Well, last time I checked, it is prime shopping season for holiday gifts, so if you're stumped for the readers in your life (okay, okay, including yourself) then take a peek at the following:

If they liked... A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket

Try: The Secret Series by Pseudonymous Bosch
Aside from the author having possibly the best pen name in the business, this series shares a similarly snarky sense of humour, authorial asides and mysterious identity, and appealing pre-teen main characters (one female, one male, with another male for some of them). Currently four books, projected to end at five (one for each of the five senses).

Or: Circles of Heck series by Dale E. Basye
More fun snark, and wordplay par excellence (my favourite - pitchsporks!), though kids may not get all the references (like the names of the main characters, Milton and Marlo Fauster, or the kid they meet upon arrival in Heck - yep, you guessed it, he's called Virgil). Currently three books available, with the fourth, Fibble, projected for a May release.



If they liked... Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan

Try: The Cronus Chronicles by Anne Ursu
Once again the Greek myths are alive and well in the present-day, though our main characters don't have any blood relation to them this time. Charlotte (an American) and her English cousin Zee (short for Zachary, but he doesn't like it), both 13 years old, and aided by their English teacher Mr. Metos, are pitted against all manner of nasties in this trilogy (oh, but there's quite a sweet kitty as well).

Or: Pandora series by Carolyn Hennesy
Yeah, that Pandora. These are set in actual good-old-Greece, though dialogue and social mores are updated to more or less modern standards. After the infamous release of the bad stuff in the box, Pandy and her BFFs Alcie and Iole are dispatched to recapture them. Currently four available; I'm assuming there will be seven.


Or: oh. my. gods. by Tera Lynn Childs
For the girls who read Percy and are teenagers now, this series (currently two) takes hotshot runner Phoebe to a strange Greek boarding school when her mother marries - yeah, actually,I'm not going to give stuff away here, other than to remind you that Nike wasn't always just a brand of athletic gear.

Or: Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips
This one is for grownups who either read Percy with their kids and got into the Greek-myths thing, or for those like me who just read kidstuff for the pure pleasure of it but still enjoy more adult fare sometimes. In fact, I bought this one for the Tart when we were in Scotland. Anyway, Greek-gods-alive-and-well-in-modern-times, check - errm, actually, make that not-so-well. They're crammed into a moldering old house in London and doing strange things to make ends meet, like walking dogs and running phone-sex lines. Then they hire a housekeeper, and - I'm just going to make an Orpheus reference here and leave it, because I'm supposed to be teasing you all into buying this stuff (hey, I do work at a bookstore).

If they liked... Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling (duh)
Try: Erec Rex by Kaza Kingsley
I've mentioned this series before (see my Here, There Be Dragons post), but I really am very fond of it and think it needs a wider audience, so help me out here folks, get your kids hooked on it, okay? ;-)


Or: Septimus Heap by Angie Sage
Mistaken identity, magic and royalty, time travel and necromancy and oh yeah, DRAGON! In other words, this series is absolutely full of pretty much everything I like. There are currently five books, and I haven't found any hint of more, though the series doesn't seem to have come to any definitive end, so hey, Angie Sage, if you read this, more please!

Or: The Tapestry series by Henry Neff
This one starts out like an American version of Hogwarts, but quickly deepens into its own story. Max's mother disappears mysteriously, then he gets swept off to Rowan Academy, and - I'm going to do exactly what I did above and cut off in the middle of the explanation (besides, the third one just came out and I haven't read it yet - gonna buy it today though). It does get quite dark though, so keep that in mind if your kids are little.

Or: absolutely anything written by Diana Wynne Jones
She's awesome. I adore everything of hers I've ever read, and have for over twenty years. She writes everything from sweeping high fantasy to total silliness, and covers an age range of about 7 to whenever (her adult titles have been particularly tricky to find, though). Most of her titles were reprinted here in the US in that long gap between Goblet and Phoenix, though some have disappeared again now. That's dumb. She rocks. Go get some.


If they liked... The City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau

Try: The Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld
I'm playing off the post-apocalyptic dystopian aspects in this list; all the entries are also approximately one age-group level higher (teen vs. young readers). In Westerfeld's vision, civilization's collapse was brought about by an oil-devouring microbe - no gas, no power, everything went haywire. In the rebuilt society, in order to level the playing field for people, everyone is given plastic surgery at the age of 16 - so that everyone is "pretty" and can therefore succeed. Except, of course, things don't work out like that...

Or: The Declaration by Gemma Malley
You thought China's one-child policy was bad? What if the only way to be permitted to have a child was to agree to die yourself? Humanity is now effectively immortal thanks to a drug called, appropriately enough, Longevity. With no death, there can be no new life or the world will become hopelessly overpopulated; any children born illegally are captured and placed in "surplus" homes, where they're constantly told that they shouldn't exist and they must work extra-hard to make up for it. Of course, rebellion ensues... (sequel is The Resistance).

Or: The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins
Do I really have to talk too much about this one? It's huge. It's brilliant. It's Survivor meets Lord of the Flies, and yet so much more. It's also a very chilling view into what very well could happen to the US should things continue at their present pace...


If they liked... Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

Try: H.I.V.E. by Mark Walden
Talk about your anti-heroes - H.I.V.E. stands for "Higher Institute of Villainous Education", and it's where tomorrow's supervillains are being trained up. You've got hackers and cat burglars, martial arts experts and plants from hell, all mixed up and ready to wreak havoc. It has taken forever for this one to make it across the Pond (it's a British series and they're something like 3 or 4 volumes ahead), but it looks like the third one finally has a US pub date.

Or: The Genius trilogy by Catherine Jinks
Actually, the third one in this series took forever to make it to the US as well, but it's here now, at least in hardcover. Australian teenager Cadel is - well, he's another superhacker, but with some seriously messed up family stuff and a pretty warped worldview (at least at first). I confess, I haven't read the third one yet on this one either, but I flew through the first two.


If they liked... The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan

Try: The Theodosia series by R. L. LaFevers
Theodosia likes nothing better than messing around with the Egyptian antiquities her parents bring back from archaeological expeditions. There are a couple of problems, however: number one is her exceedingly proper grandmother. The second is that she can sense the curses the objects carry...

Or: The Bartimaeus series by Jonathan Stroud
While not necessarily Egyptian, everybody's favourite wise-cracking djinn does have a wealth of knowledge of ancient civilizations that he's more than happy to share. After a hiatus of about 4 years, Bartimaeus recently returned to print in a fourth volume set loooong before the original trilogy (no spoilers...).



Getting a little more general for the adults, moving more into the range of authors rather than specific titles. Once again, I'm leading with something pretty popular and recommending lesser-known works that I feel should be better-known. 'Cause they're like, y'know, good 'n' stuff, ne?

If they liked... Alice Hoffman
Try: Keith Donohue
Magical realism is the tie-in here - Donohue's two books are both wonderful tales, beautifully told.

If they liked... Diana Gabaldon
Try: Robertson Davies
Okay, no Scotsmen here; however, this late great Canadian writer penned (or typed, I won't pretend I know which one) several fabulous trilogies (loosely connected - blink and you'll miss the link) with similar scope and breadth (not to mention some utterly fabulous character names - Liselotte Vitzliputzli comes to mind...).
Or: Kate Mosse
Erm, no, not the model. Think southern France, reincarnation (maybe), historical calamities - oh, and a nice high page count.

If they liked... Philippa Gregory
Try: Susan Carroll
For those who just can't get enough of that old-time English royalty.

If they liked: Elizabeth George
Try: Ian Rankin
Gritty detecting on the streets of Edinburgh with Inspector John Rebus.
Or: Denise Mina
Less than an hour west by train (I know, I've done it), Glasgow comes to life in these mysteries.

I could honestly continue this post indefinitely, if it weren't for two things:
1) who would read it all?
2) my internet was out all evening and I'm scrambling to finish it before I fall asleep.
So, if you've got any "but hey, what about (fill in the blank)?" for me, just say so and I'll answer in the comments and edit in the good ones. Happy reading to all, and to all a good night! (or something like that)