STRESS

So I tried to think of something that would be relevant to people who, y'know, aren't me (which anyone would agree are in fact a majority in this world of ours), but I'm so stressed out that the only thing I can THINK of is stress. Wanna know why? (Well, if you don't, you can stop reading and go check out Tami's or Natasha's blogs or something...)

It's recital week for my students, for starters, which is always super-stressful. I have to make sure they're all prepared (usually the easy part), get myself prepared (slightly harder), and do all the administrative nonsense that I'm really really REALLY bad at (like scheduling a piano for rehearsal, which used to be super easy 'cause I had one in my room, but they demolished those and put a drama room in instead. Super not fair, man.) And as always, it's the most advanced students who are the least prepared, and I want them all to do well because, hell, achievement is its own reward and all that, but also, who doesn't like genuine applause? And the knowledge that you've earned it? (Also, there are cookies.)

And I've ended up with 6 shifts at the bookstore this week. Or rather, 3 shifts and I'm working 6 days (hardy har har, lemme explain that). See, we're supposed to be moving all the teen books (3 subcategories, hence 3 shifts) around so that new stuff is featured more prominently. I am totally all for this, except for one teensy problem. We don't have enough linear feet of shelving. Meaning that instead of getting to feature all the newest titles, I had to get rid of, oh, 40 or so. Which I hate doing. 'Cause I can't sell them if we send them back to the publisher. And I had a total spaz on that one today, between the whole Mondayness thing, and having to do it almost all myself (I had help for about half an hour, which was awesome), and the pressure of oops-we-were-supposed-to-do-this-ages-ago-but-the-RM-is-coming-so-NOW.

Oh, and the reason I agreed to 6 days this week? I need money (duh, who doesn't). More than usual, I mean. 'Cause my Rullie-cat is sick. She's better than she was, but she'll never be all the way better, and she's not back to normal (like there is any such thing as "normal" with a cat), though she is eating and running and jumping and snuggling (and making it VERY hard to type this post, as she's on my right arm...). Vets are expensive as hell, and when I can't even afford my own health insurance, well, no, kitties do not have health insurance (I did look into it a while back, but Rullie was already too old to qualify). I have also learned that cat-under-the-covers is maybe not all it's cracked up to be (hello, poky feet). That's my girl there on the right - that picture was taken about 5 years ago, she's lots smaller now, unfortunately. She'll be 14 in June if we can keep her going comfortably.

So. That's my pity party. And that's why stress is the only topic I could think of. Hope your week is going better than mine...

Images: #1 - no idea, it's been on my hard drive for ages
#2 - I took it myself

Mandsikjhfeuidfgyireifgsdfgwrgfwrifgi

I swear, the title of this post is extremely accurate. It reflects *exactly* what is going on in my head at the moment. What went on in my head yesterday, when I was supposed to post this. Topical Tuesday. I even had a topic (St. Lucy's Day), or exams (very topical for me, since I am going through them at the moment, albeit in a very different way than I've ever done before because I'm not taking them this year, but rather grading them... I swear, I'd rather take them!), or even the weather (we're having spring, I'm sure - all our lovely snow seems to be melting! Drat!)

But no. Before I had the chance to transfer my ideas to paper (or, more accurately, screen), they ended up in fhegiakfiutygihbhjgilwdjafgyg and *poof* I forgot the whole post. Until now. When I write it, it will still be up for an hour and a half before the next one (and much better one, I'm sure) ticks in. Not that it is a huge loss. I'm sure today's actual post will be much more thought-through and well-written than this one, not to mention the topic will not be lkhjefiudshfjkhfuiryifkdghfshdgfj.

In the meantime, though, let me muse a little over cbnsdjkghdgcsdcuhjasdgj:

Papers that need to be graded, need to be graded.

Jobs that need to be done, need to be done.

In English, you cannot write "they claims" and expect to get away with it. It are annoying!

Sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Sometimes they suck.

Friends are essential.

Suck it up!

Can you have your cake and eat it too? Won't we always try?

What's in a smile? When a person lights up when seeing you, should you draw hasty conclusions?

We want what we can't have, we hold on to what we don't need, and sometimes it's impossible to see the difference.

It doesn't matter what you believe in. Believe.

Yoga and boxing.

Wsdofhudgfiuweyjkcfjdyfuweudpqwuiryfwyfuvjgai.

World Woes

Last night, as is typical, I was still slightly stressing over today's post. In fact, I think the only time I don't stress over a BB&B post is when I am due to write the 'Delusional Thursday' post. I rarely stress over my own blog page, mostly because each and every post usually falls into the 'delusional' side of things, but I frequently find myself worrying about what I am going to write for here.

Anyway, as I finally drifted off to sleep last night, I had a vague idea pop into my head, and I closed my eyes, infinitely thankful that I at least had a starting point for today's post. But do you know what? I'm not going to continue with the idea that I had, because something else occurred to me this morning.

I awoke about ten minutes before my fourteen year old was due to leave for school. I did the usual - made sure he had everything in his bag (he is very forgetful), reminded him to brush his teeth and spray some deodorant, etc etc - and was about to wave him off when he suddenly said "Do I have to go to school?".

Now, to be fair, this is not an unusual question in my house, so I merely rolled my eyes and prepared myself to give the usual speech about children having to attend school by law, blah, blah, blah. Then my son explained the reason why he wished to stay home today.

Stress.

Yes, he is stressed. He is being constantly hounded and teased by another boy (this is also something that I am no stranger to). I sighed, told my son to stay home for the day, and phoned his school to make arrangements to speak with a teacher. Anyway, I'm not going to waffle on about my boy's seemingly unending stream of problems with his peers. The point I am trying to get across is that in today's society, one of the most unfortunate things that most people have in common is stress.

The economic climate at the moment is probably the worst it has been in a long, long time. Unless you are one of the fortunate few, you are likely to be struggling financially. I can't remember the last time that I didn't go to bed worrying about money - specifically, the lack thereof.  My night-time ponderings are usually to do with how I am going to be able to stretch my meagre weekly funds to cover basic bills and buy enough food to last until the next pay day. Every time a letter is sent home from my one my children's schools, I close my eyes and inwardly pray that they are not asking for money. I live in dread that one of my kids will come home with a tear in their coat or a hole in their shoes, because that will mean having to buy replacements, which I simply don't have the money for.

And there doesn't seem to be any indication that things will be getting better any time soon. There are no jobs to be found, and if you are lucky enough to have a job, then you are possibly living with the very real threat of redundancy. Businesses are going under every day, unable to stay standing under the crippling weight of rising prices and fewer clients.

And it is not only money worries, either. My son's stress over another child's teasing is another disturbingly rising problem amongst our children. Heck, even my nine year old daughter is frequently stressing about things on a daily basis, whether it is something as trivial as having the latest pair of shoes, to the worry about being teased because she doesn't fit today's image of a pre-teen girl.

The problem with stress is that there is nothing you can do about it unless the initial cause is rectified, and usually fixing the problem relies on things that are out of your control. This leads to feelings of helplessness (and hopelessness), which in turn adds to the initial stress, and pretty soon you may find yourself so deeply buried in worry that a way out seems impossible.

Nearly everyone will experience this at some point in their lives, and with one of the highest causes of stress being financially related, is it any wonder that in today's economic climate, depression appears to be on the rise.

There doesn't seem to be a way to finish this post on a positive note, unfortunately. I have rambled a little bit about my my own thoughts on something that is topical of the moment, but I have no way of finding a silver lining to the cloud of doom that seems to be covering half of the planet. Perhaps that is why I dislike 'Topical Tuesdays' the most out of our blog subjects, and why I probably like 'Delusional Thursdays' the best. I like being delusional mostly because it helps me forget the very real problems that worry me endlessly on a daily basis. Sometimes it sucks being in the real world, aye?

And on that happy note, I will end this.