03 March 2011

Delusional What?

I don't know why I do both the 'About me' and Delusional Thursday, because pretty much they are one in the same, but there you have it...

So I may or may not be a trouble maker... (three guesses who TODAY's posterchild is, eh?)

But... well I'm starting too far into the story. Here... some perspective...

I'm shy and awkward.

*pelts the snorters in the peanut gallery*

No seriously... I have a deathly fear of saying something stupid because... you know... I'm not. But my brain is a little slow... the processor is STRONG but not speedy... So I learned long ago that some clown antics might not fly far afield... and then... I sorta got addicted. I hate being the center of attention for something that is personal or embarrassing, but to be the center because I'm a goofball... I like it. It's almost as good as being center because I did something COOL or IMPRESSIVE (which is really what I'd like... you know... to be the center of the world in a good but not terribly personal way—like writing a best seller... that would be good...).

Now I do this, for want of a better word, RIDICULUM much more online than in person because in person, I sometimes see people who I might want to take me seriously at some later date. But online... I seem unable to help myself in spite of the fact I'd like to be taken seriously someday (or people I really know might see it—GADS, you should have seen the first neighborhood picnic after I started blogging *dies* but I digress).... or something...

So everywhere I go, I am inclined to spread silliness, cross dressing, nudity, llama love... and pudding. And it has happened again... and I'm not sure if I am supposed to giggle and embrace it or be embarrassed that I've taken over yet again. I cruise in and find SIGNS of myself when I haven't been there for hours... days even... Tartspeak has entered the vernacular.


What the heck am I talking about?

The Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Discussion Boards

There is a place called the Manse (which is a house for a Presbyterian clergyman or some obscure thing like that, though in that context, it is also a literary reference but it's ALSO a thread at ABNA) that has a function of 'calm down, relax, don't fret... let's get along'. Everywhere else on the boards saw some tension in the last week. The Manse kept it 98% under control. There are a few skilled regroupers (though I notice not one of them carried a whip).... that tell some clever silly story, write a poem... most people resort to cocktails, and I confess to participating there... but I started a pudding fight last week... maybe it was the week before, and it seems to have caught on. Pudding wrestling. Pudding swimming. Yup. You go over to the ABNA boards and you will see PUDDING. There are even subject headings mentioning pudding. I suppose it is fitting that an Amazon would take over Amazon as part of her world domination quest, but NOBODY could have called the significant role pudding would play.


Just for future reference, anywhere you go in this world that you find pudding being used as a battle tool, accessory or swimming venue, probably I've been there spreading my mischief.


But pudding isn't the biggest part... People are getting NAKED! Oh I know... it shouldn't surprise me. People have been BORN naked for years and it is really the most comfortable way to go (any THINKING person knows naked is best), but it still warms my heart every time I see it. We even had a rotation of Naked Therapists this week... Oh, it is becoming home...

So if you are interested in bringing cross-dressed or naked pudding fights to YOUR area, you know where to find me. I prefer accommodations with squishy, soft mattresses, a pool and a supply of both caffeine and rum. And preferably you can provide a doctor's note so I can use sick time from my day job.

Yeah. That's all I got... I'm meant to take over the world and y'all need to just give in to it...


FABULOUS image of Cross-dressed Lucius by Joris Ammerlaan.
Image of ME, the dominatrix llama by Marissa Montano.

7 comments:

Matthew Rush said...

I'm not going to pretend that I have any idea what's going on here, but it sounds vastly entertaining.

Hart Johnson said...

*giggles* That's what I am for... confusing and entertaining... always keep them off balance, I say! (pretty easy if they are sliding around in pudding)

Holly Ruggiero said...

Is that llama in a pudding cup?

Hart Johnson said...

well it was DESGNED as a wine glass, but it DOES make a passable pudding cup, doesn't it... and I'd rather DRINK the wine...

Tundiel said...

*flings pudding*

Man, I LOVE pudding wrestles, and anything using chocolate is good too. Put them together and I'm on cloud nine...

Deb and Barbara said...

I was WONDERING what the "pudding" was about on ABNA!!

Hart Johnson said...

*turns on pudding fan* Now all we need is some limed lemons, eh, Tar Tar?

Barbara--yeah... guilty. teehee