June Bendiness

It's the 29th May. That means there are only two days left until June. And THAT means there are only two days left until...

*drum roll*

BuNoWriMo 2013!!!

Logo by Joris Ammerlaan Design

Say what?

I said, there are only two days left until BuNoWriMo 2013!

Now, for the uninitiated, I suppose I should explain...

This is a writers blog (well, for the most part, although you will find random posts of silliness sandwiched between the writerly stuff), and if you are a writer, then there is about a 99% chance that you know what NaNoWriMo is. Okay, NaNoWriMo isn't exactly the same thing as BuNoWriMo. Except that it is. Mostly. Well, apart from the cheating thing.

For that 1% of the writerly population that are scratching their heads (or have possibly hit the 'x' in the corner of their screen to get away from the rambling blog post), I'll briefly explain what it's all about.

1 - You write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.
2 - Er, that's it.

The FAB part of this whole WriMo deal is that when you sign up for the madness, you are not only pledging your intent to write a novel in a month, you are automatically thrust into a community of like-minded (crazy) people, who will offer encouragement, virtual cookies, advice, and sometimes pictures of hot men. Okay, that last one is probably just my own wishful thinking, but honestly, cheer leading can take many forms, and if a hot guy wants to wave his pom-poms at me, I'm not going to lie, I'd be very encouraged.

Anyway. The main NaNoWriMo event happens every November, but not everyone has the time to commit during that very busy time of year. In June, however, there aren't any festive distractions, and with it coinciding with many end-of-academic years all over the world, it's just timing-friendlier.

But what was that you mentioned about cheating? Ah, yes... well, actually, it's not that we cheat. We're just bendy. Technically, if you were following the original NaNoWriMo rules, you would start writing your brand new bestseller (what? I can't be optimistic?) on the first day of the challenge. Then you would write at least 1,667 words every day of the month, and hey presto, you have a Jackie Collins on your hands (merely a reference, not a requirement. Not everyone can write a sex-filled soap opera. Not everyone would even want to write a sex-filled soap opera. But you know what I mean. Whoops. Totally digressed there).

But at BuNoWriMo, we are, as I said, bendy. (Actually, so are a lot of Jackie Collins' characters too, now that I think about it). ANYWHO! Bendy for us is nothing like JC Bendy - bendy for us just means that anything goes (EEK...which is kinda like JC bendy. Perhaps I should have used  another reference *shifty*).

You can sign up for half a month if you can't make the full thirty days. You may only need to write a 30k novella, not a full 50,000 words, but that's fine too! You may have ten thousand words buried in your files - now might be the time to add to it and turn it into a novel!

See how bendy we are? The main goal is to stop you procrastinating and get you to DO something. And you know, I just had my first WriMo novel published, so there is always a future book deal to add as enticement. *winks*

How do you take part?

EASY!!

Just go to our BuNoWriMo  page on Facebook, and request to join. And that's it. So what are you waiting for? Come join the bendies!

Never Give Up!

Original image

Hello! Remember me? You probably don't, seeing as I haven't contributed a post here for longer than I'd care to admit. But I am still alive, and I wanted to pop by and give you all a motivational message. *nods firmly*

I am a procrastinator, and therefore rarely manage to finish things that aren't important. I finish the stuff that needs to be done, but not so much the stuff that should be done. It's a lifelong habit, and one that I'm never likely to break.

So when I started writing back in - 2004? 2005? - I never really thought that I could ever produce more than a few short stories. Initially I wrote fan fiction. A really bad first one, followed by marginally better ones. I had a place where I posted a number of short stories - no more than a couple of thousand words long - and I had a few longer length stories, which I updated (in)frequently. Now, to understand the severity of my dithering, I will tell you that I only finished four of the longer length stories, and apart from the first one, they all took a couple of years to write. I unfortunately had an equal amount of unfinished works. So my record wasn't that great.

Now, back in 2009, I finally gave in a joined the NaNoWriMo event that everyone was urging me to sign up to. I also started my own blog - and to further demonstrate my procrastinating habit, it is worth noting that in three and a half years, I'm still a couple of posts away from my 300th blog entry. *shifty*

BUT!!

I did finish my NaNo adventure! Which is GOOD!! Though I proceeded to let it collect dust for two whole years, which is BAD. *shifty once more*

You see how my dithering is a problem? But this is supposed to be a motivational post, and this is the bit that I wanted to share with you.

After letting it sit for so long, I went back and tidied up my manuscript. True, I then waited another six months before doing anything with it, but I was on the right track. Back in September last year, I subbed it to a couple of publishers, not expecting anything groundbreaking to happen. I was, of course, correct, and duly heard back from both publishers in January, saying 'thanks, but no thanks'.

So where is this motivational message?? Well, I decided to send out to another four publishers, and if I had the same response, I decided I would overhaul the manuscript before subbing it further. But shock of shocks, I heard back within a couple of weeks, and it was a big fat 'YES'!! This was early in February, and on April 29th, just a few short weeks away, my NaNo baby will be released as an e-book!

Now, you'll notice that I haven't mentioned the title of my book, or any identifying details at all really, because this post isn't about me. Well, technically it is, as I've told you my story (which is, after all, all about me) but I needed to demonstrate the reasoning behind my motivational meanderings. *nods again*

You see, if I can do it, so can YOU!!

So... never give up, and just keep swimming!

Bonkers Birdie

You know, sometimes there's nothing better than embracing your Inner Diva, blasting some Erasure, and belting out some cheesy songs with Andy Bell. *nods*

I'm an Odd Bird. I like all music - from opera to cheesy pop - and I like to shake my thang and sing along to them (both badly) as much as any other Odd Bird.

I'm an Odd Bird in other ways too. While I'm a little OCD with a lot of things, I'm can also be so scatterbrained that things get forgotten about all the time. I think it would be fair to say I'm also a One-Extreme-Or-The-Other Bird. There's no middle ground with me. Which can be very awkward when I am being a Stubborn Bird, because I refuse to back down or compromise.

Of course, I'm also a Procrastinating Bird - everyone knows that -but have I mentioned that I'm also  Buries-Head-In-The-Sand Bird too?

I'm also a Very Sorry Bird, because I haven't blogged here or on my own blog for a long time (well, I did post on mine on Monday, but that was after a two month break). The thing is, the longer I leave things, the more I put them off, and the more I put them off, the less inclined I feel to get on with them. *is a Blushing Birdie*

So, having established that I am a Dithering Bird,  after putting off securing a publisher for my chick-lit comedy, I did a totally un-Odd Bird-like thing and entered two competitions this year, and got nowhere fast in both cases. This came as no surprise, because really, when facing stiff competiton from all kinds of serious genres like drama, suspense, thriller, and other such adult-themed things, pitting a fluffy chick-lit, complete with swearing protagonist, innuendo, and talking cats, against them was only ever going to end in tears. (I think I have to many commas in that sentence, but then I am a Grammatically Incorrect Bird).

So now I am a Disheartened Bird - at least, I'm disheartened with my modern Cinderella tale. I mean, I still love it, because it was my first ever book-baby, but deep down I've always known that my silly side should really only be reserved for my blog. I can be a Funny Bird without trying - at least, I usually end up being funny even when I don't intend it - but my real strengths have always been writing emotional and dark tales. And my main love when it comes to reading has always been fantasy.

So I'm going back to my roots and getting back to my fantasy novel, which I shelved ages ago and never got back to. I've dusted it off, given it a read through, and realised that it's not half bad. And because I actually know where I am going with it, it may even turn out to be pretty good.

Best of all, it's dark and twisty, so I get to be an Evil Bird when I'm writing it.

Yup, even as a birdie, I have multiple personalities. It's just the way we roll.

Odd Bird with Odd Chick

Image self-taken.


A/N - There may be (take that as 'there are probably') typos in this post, because spellchecker isn't working for me, and the words are mingling a little owing to the fact that I am a Very Tired Birdie today).

Dragon Shenanigans

Pinky's being 'Ellied'.

Er, I'm late. I know. But it's still Thursday, and I'm still delusional, so it's ok. I've had a mad day today, so it's fitting that it's my turn to post for 'Delusional Thursday'.

Pinky and Perky

Before I came here, I quickly cobbled together my limerick for the letter 'E' over on my other blog, because it's getting rather late in the day, and I don't want to fail the A-Z challenge, especially seeing as I haven't really blogged since February (and that's quite enough commas in one rambling sentence thank-you-very-much).

Also, I should mention that if you happen to notice a missing 'b' anywhere in the post, please forgive me. You see, the letter 'b' on my laptop is needing a much harder press than normal, owing to the fact that it is uggered. *shifty*.

Pinky's so fast, she moved before I could click!

Anyway... regarding my mad day. I spent much of it chasing dragons. No, seriously, I did. Ok, so they are bearded dragons, but still, dragons they are. Hubby obtained them two days ago (much to the astonishment of the kids - not to mention the cats). Today we decided to clean out the vivarium, so we had to remove the beardies (Pinky and Perky *coughs*) in order to do so. The dragons happily scampered all over the living room (or skidded more often than not as we have laminate flooring) for almost an hour. I kept having to scoop them up before they scurried into places where they might get stuck. Fast little uggers, they are. *nods*

Belle's a bit purrplexed...

I never thought I would have any other pet apart from my kitties. Hubby has been pestering for a snake or a tarantula for years, but I kept saying 'no'. Then the chance came to snap up these two beauties - complete with vivarium and all sorts of paraphernalia - for a bargain price. I was a bit iffy, but I figured they'd be better to live with than a snake or a giant spider (*shudders*). Despite my misgivings, I'm so happy I said 'yes', because I loves them, I do, I loves them!


 Still not sure how the cats are going to adjust though. *snort*

A Short Ramble & A Short Story

Ack... it's 'Writing Wednesday', and already past the deadline of noon. And I have to get ready to leave for my 2-10pm shift at work. Double ack. See, this is where my procrastinating gets me. I put things off until the last possible moment, and while sometimes I manage to pull something out of the hat, other times I don't.

Today is the latter, and so it will have to be a 'Written Wednesday' rather than a 'Writing Wednesday'. Truth be told, I'm not much good at these writerly posts anyway. A procrastinator doesn't really have a wealth of advice to offer, and if they did, they would save it for a rainy day in the spirit of putting things off,

So instead you can have a little Potter piece that I wrote a couple of years ago. After HPANA (my original Harry Potter internet home) went down, perhaps forever, little of my written work remained, but the following is one of a handful of pieces that I managed to salvage. Fortunately, it is one of my favourites.

+++++

Waiting.


Lily sat idly playing with a blade of grass, her expression thoughtful. There was a light breeze in the air, though not strong enough to move her hair much more than a little flutter. The sky was dark, threatening a shower at the very least, if not an outright downpour. Lily shivered. It wasn’t that she was cold, far from it; it was this dreadful waiting that was making her bones feel chilled.


It had been so long since life had seemed normal. It felt like she had been stuck in this – what was it? A half existence? – for longer than she cared to remember. She and James were forced to sit back and wait. The trouble was, they didn’t really know what they were waiting for, or when it would happen.


Their monotonous lives had been interrupted recently when Sirius had arrived. Lily had been perturbed at first by his sudden appearance, but both Sirius and James seemed happy in each other’s company, and even she had to admit that the extra adult company made things a little less… dare she say boring?


Lily sighed again as she watched the storm clouds gather directly above her head. Always it seemed winter here; always a fierce wind, with howling echoes that were reminiscent of wailing ghosts. She shivered again, the unwelcome feeling of ‘someone walking over her grave’ stealing down her spine.


“Why can’t the sun shine just once?” she asked the emptiness around her. But of course, the sun wouldn’t shine just because she’d asked it to. Just as she couldn’t go back just because she wanted to. Back to life, back to normality. If there even was a normality any more.


“Lily, darling, what are you doing?”

Lily smiled. James at least made things easier. Merlin knew what she would have done if he wasn’t here with her. He was almost always cheerful, in spite of their circumstances. Always he was trying to lift her spirits, telling her that soon – soon! – the wait would be over and all would be well. He gave her hope that one day the clouds would lift and the sun would manage to peek through and bathe them all with it’s life-giving light. Maybe she wouldn’t have to play with dried-out grass any more, and would instead be able to pluck a fresh bloom from the earth and enjoy its scent.


She felt James’s arms lift her from the ground and turned to smile at him.


“I was just….” her voice trailed off.


“Worrying? Wishing for something to happen?”


Lily smiled. James knew her too well.


“Come on, love; Sirius is chatting about old times and I need someone to remind him not to exaggerate too much,” said James cajolingly.


“Hmm, mixing things up, is he?” asked Lily, chuckling.


“You know Sirius; sometimes he forgets the finer details,” replied James, rolling his eyes.


Lily nodded and took her husband’s hand. Maybe Sirius’s Marauder tales would dispel some of her agitation. At the very least, she would enjoy the banter between her husband and his best friend.


***

She should have known things couldn’t have been so simple. Sirius had got as far as greeting Lily warmly, but was prevented from regaling tales from his youth by the sudden loud clap of thunder.


“I knew there would be a storm tonight,” muttered Lily.


“Nah, this isn’t a storm, Lily,” said Sirius lazily. “Look, there’s not even a drop of rain. It’s just a little bit of thunder, that’s all.”


Not even a drop of rain. There never was. This place had the constant atmosphere of an impending storm, but nothing more than dry thunder and lightening ever occurred.


“I have this feeling that something’s going to happen tonight,” said Lily, rubbing her arms.


“Look, noth-,” started James, but was interrupted by a familiar voice.


“Hello James,”


James and Sirius turned abruptly, but Lily closed her eyes, even more perturbed by this new arrival than she had been when Sirius had arrived.


“Oh no… not you too?” whispered James, his voice betraying his emotion.


“Yes, me too,” said Remus, though he didn’t sound half as distressed as his friend.


“How…?”


“Does it matter?” asked Remus ruefully. “No, not really. The fact is that I’m with you now. I think I was always meant to be with you one more time.”

Death. Lily shuddered. Even now it was hard to believe she was dead. That James was dead. But they were, and they were stuck in this limbo until Fate decreed that they could move on.


“Don’t look so distraught, Lily,” said Remus gently. “I’ve been waiting for Death to take me since I was nine years old. I’ve lived far longer than I could have wished, and I found happiness before I left life behind me.”


“You did?” asked Lily anxiously. She had worried endlessly about Remus ever since… ever really. He was the gentlest and sweetest of James’s friends, yet he had always suffered. She had feared the loss of herself and James would be his undoing.


“Yes, I did,” said Remus firmly. “I married. I married a wonderful woman who accepted me for who I was and loved me unconditionally.”


“Really? Oh Remus, that’s wonderful! But so sad…”


“Merlin, Remus, I’m sorry mate,” said Sirius, placing a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder.


“You’re too good to have this happen to you,” said James simply. “I’m truly sorry, Remus.”


Remus smiled. “It’s alright. Much as it saddens me, my wife is waiting for me to join her.”


“You mean she’s…?”


“Yes, she’s also dead. Tonight; the same as me. And we’ve left behind a son to carry on the name, too,” he said proudly.

“But that’s even sadder!” exclaimed Lily. “How can you be so accepting?”


“You are,” pointed out Remus.


“Yes, but we’ve had…well, we’ve had a long time to come to terms with it, haven’t we James?”


Remus shrugged. “No point fretting about it, it’s done. And my wife is waiting for me; as soon as I’m finished here, I can go to her.”

“You’re not staying,” said James sadly.


“No,” said Remus. “But I don’t think you are either.”


“What do you mean?”


“We have something to do tonight; all four of us.”


Remus wouldn’t be drawn any further on the subject, but Lily knew without doubt that it concerned Harry.


“It’s happening tonight, isn’t it?” she whispered.


“What’s happening?” said James, sounding perplexed.


“Whatever it is that we’ve been waiting all these years for.”


Remus nodded smilingly.


“What are we supposed to do?” asked Lily, anxious to get things right.


“I don’t know,” shrugged Remus. “But I don’t think that’ll be a problem. I think we just have to be here.”


***


Time was never fast in Limbo, but the evening seemed to go on for eternity. The storm clouds continued to rumble threateningly and Lily wished for the umpteenth time that some rain would fall from those deceptively dry bits of cotton in the sky. The tension was palpable; all four friends were too nervous to say much. They all wanted the night’s proceedings to get under way, no matter what they were.

About an hour after Remus arrived, a small chink of light peeked through the clouds and highlighted a small patch of grass a few feet away from where they were sitting. Lily stood up and walked towards it, feeling somehow that hope was maybe just around the corner. She stooped down to the ground, her eyes drawn to a smudge of white.

“It’s a lily,” she breathed in awe. It had been so long since she had seen her namesake that she had almost forgotten what they looked like, but there was no mistaking the delicate flower that had appeared so suddenly in the previously barren ground. She bent to smell it with appreciation, and fingered the green stem that looked far too delicate to support the luminous white petals above it. For some reason she was reminded of Severus, and she smiled sadly in remembrance of her old friend. Her memory of him was so strong that she even thought she heard his voice.

Look at me…

Lily shook her head, calling herself silly. She took one more sniff of the lily before rejoining the others.

***

Another hour or so passed before it happened. The four friends had been talking quietly when suddenly they all felt something pulling at them. It was very similar to using a Portkey, but the pulling sensation was in their head rather than behind their navel.

All four began walking at once; they all seemed to know where they had to go.

“Harry’s calling us,” said Lily, her eyes shining with anticipation of seeing her son.

“Yes,” said Remus. “He needs us now. He needs our love to guide him through his task. We can help him, Lily. That’s why we’re all here.”


Lily nodded. It was as if she had known all along.


When she saw her son, Lily felt a burst of hope rip through her. The clouds parted a little more, and a few more chinks of light dotted the ground ahead.


This was what she had been waiting for. This was why she couldn’t be at peace. Her son needed one last piece of support from his parents before they could leave the Earth forever.


The closer they got, the more light came through those perpetually gloomy storm clouds. Lily knew with certainty that soon the clouds would dissipate and that the sun would be allowed to shine again. The endless winter would end, and life would be allowed to prosper all over again.


As Lily finally looked face to face at her son, she could almost smell the fragrance of the thousand flowers that would soon cover the dried-out grass that surrounded them.


Winter had ended. And Spring was the most magical of seasons.

***End***

Yum...

Having just discovered (literally minutes ago) that I was up for this week's 'topical' post, I immediately went to Google news and had a look-see at what was currently going on in the world. Not that I'm completely ignorant of what is happening, you understand, it's just that I needed a reminder.*coughs* 

It's quite depressing reading. But then, to be fair, it usually is. It's a rare occasion indeed to find anything happy in the headlines. Amongst today's offerings were the usual weapons concern in far-flung countries, some techy news regarding Smartphones, a little more (yet again) about Whitney Houston, a few articles on the greedy Fat Cats in the banking world... like I said, nothing surprising.

It's all so very gloomy. Nothing but doom, mostly. And you know what? I don't feel like writing about doom. So instead, I am going to talk about food. Because I LOVE food, and it always makes me feel better (as the current size of my hips will attest to).

In this day and age, it's probably not something that I should admit to, but food really is one of the only things that can cheer me up sometimes. Yes, I know that I should be eating healthily, and I know that there are people in the world who don't have enough to eat at all, but I am not being unfeeling or anything, I am just admitting to a guilty pleasure.

Receiving a box of chocolates, for example, is lovely. Not that it happens to me very often, but when I get them I smile. It's the thought behind the gift that makes it matter, granted, but I can't deny that tucking into the chocolaty goodness doesn't have the feel good factor.

Sometimes it's a cream cake that will do the trick. If I am feeling a bit down in the dumps, I find that a nice cream cake will work wonders. I make sure I walk pretty fast to the bakers and back (in order to justify the extra calories), and I figure I'm good.

It doesn't have to be the naughty stuff either. I had a lazy day yesterday and decided to skip the usual Sunday shenanigans (I'm not confused, yesterday WAS Sunday, I am typing in advance) and cook something simple for our main meal (the 'cooking something simple' was made even easier when I decided to skip the cooking altogether and order a Chinese instead, which is actually still naughty, but I digress...).

Anyway, I figured I'd cook a full roast today instead. A joint of pork with roast potatoes, lots of veg, Yorkshire puddings, the whole she-bang. Mmmm, lovely. It's cold outside, rainy and dark... and a  little (like today's news) depressing. But when I eat my roast dinner, I will be a happy bunny indeed.

Sometimes it really is the simple things in life that make us smile, eh?

PS...the picture is borrowed from here. It's looks lovely and everything, but there's not nearly enough gravy for it to be my plate...

The People Vs Tara Smith

We are here, my friends, to prove the fact that Tara Smith is insane. It will be a short trial, with little dialogue and some photographic evidence. But we have little need for a long trial, as you will see...

Let's begin.

The People: We are here today to accuse you, Tara Smith, of insanity. How do you plead?
Tara Smith: Not guilty?
The People: You sound a little unsure.
Tara Smith: Well, I'm pretty sure I don't have to answer without the presence of my lawyer.
The People: You don't have a lawyer.
Tara Smith: That is correct.
The People: So you are defending yourself, then.
Tara Smith: Oh, right.
The People: So your plea is?
Tara Smith: Er... not guilty.
The People: Good. This is how things will proceed: We will present some evidence. and you will rebut it.
Tara Smith: *blank stare*
The People: Just respond after each piece of evidence, OK?
Tara Smith: OK!

The People: I present exhibit number one:

This, I believe, is a 'person' that was created in your place of work.

Tara Smith: Yes! That is Eric Spartan, Zombie Hunter Extraordinaire! But, you can't use this against me as I had no part in his coming into being. *nods firmly*

The People: That may be the case, but we will now turn to the events of Saturday evening, February 4th, 2012.
Tara Smith: *shifts uncomfortably in seat*


The People: Did you, or did you not create two other 'people' on this occasion? And name them 'Ginger Ninja' and 'Penelope Purple.?
Tara Smith: Well, erm...

The People: And then, Tara Smith, did you, or did you not, proceed to scalp these newly born people?
Tara Smith: Well, I wouldn't say that...

The People: And then, after this massacre, did you decide that cross-dressing your imaginary person would be an acceptable thing to do?
Tara Smith: Well, I've always believed that a little cross-dressing never hurt anyone.

The People: And after this cross-dressing, did you then decide that using a scalp as a beard would be funny?
Tara Smith: You have to admit, it is kind of amusing...

The People: And once all the shenanigans were over, did you ruthlessly throw your new friends into the corner while you continued consuming copious amounts of vodka?
Tara Smith: I wouldn't say we were ruthless. A little unsteady on our feet, perhaps, but not ruthless.

The People: And finally, Tara Smith, did you, or did you not, don one of the scalps and laugh like a hyena?
Tara Smith: *tries to look innocent*
The People: After seeing all of the evidence, which cannot be refuted, what say you now, Tara Smith? We, The People, say that you are insane. What is your response?

 Tara Smith: Oh alright... it's a fair cop...

Some Parts From The Watery Tart

Hmm, 'Reading Monday'. A fairly straightforward topic - a review on something I have read recently, preferably a book. To be truthful, I haven't read a proper book for a while. The hubby got me an iPad for Christmas, complete with on board Kindle, so I have been reading on that lately. Yes, it's still 'book reading', but much as I love my gadget, it's not quite the same thing. Plus the stuff I have read on there have mostly been the free classics that you can download, which are so universally well-known, they don't need a review from me.

I have also been reading all about jaw surgery. Admittedly, that's not 'book reading' as such, but it's taken up a lot of my reading time lately nonetheless. My son will have to undergo surgery on his jaw within the next few years because apparently braces alone will not fix the problems he has with his teeth. This is probably not something that will interest you if I were to review all that I had read about it though.

The thing that I have been reading the most, though, is my manuscript. Not only did I give it two solid readings, I also nit-picked it to the best of my ability in order for it to be presentable for entry to this year's Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. This is not the first time that ABNA has been mentioned on here, so I won't go into any more details on it in case I invoke an epidemic of eyerolling and yawns. But I will leave you with something to read for yourself - the all-important 'pitch' that will see me either fall into the abyss with 3,999 other authors, or will allow me to continue on the path to ABNA glory with 999 other hopefuls.

As well as a little read, I also pose a small question. I wrote the pitch all on my own, but the Burrow's very own Watery Tart threw in a couple of last minute suggestions, and they were so fabulous that I edited them into my entry a couple of days ago. See if you can guess what they are... I'm betting you can. *winks*

Take one damsel unknowingly in distress, add a fairy godmother, a spattering of clothing mishaps, and a prince-in-the-making. Mix thoroughly and let simmer for a while.

Twenty-four year old Eleanor Gibson is average in pretty much every way. There’s nothing wrong with her life; it’s just not very exciting, despite being surrounded by lingerie all day long.

Then comes the day when her cat starts to talk, and if that wasn’t enough to make life a little more interesting, the feline insists she is Ella’s fairy godmother too. Throw in an evil ex-stepmother, a bloke called Charming, and a looming party-cum-ball, and you have all the elements of a classic tale. Ella even has a couple of ugly sisters, never mind that they are a pair of gorgeous gay men.

Ella’s not your typical fairy-tale princess though, and it will take more than a discarded glass slipper to get her man. It’s quite possible that she may have to curb her enthusiasm for cursing just a wee bit, not to mention her love of vodka. And can Muse, her surprisingly straight-laced feline friend, overcome her prudishness long enough for Ella to sneak a kiss or three with her intended beau?

Cue plenty of laughs, cursing, accidental nudity, and several trips to the local hospital, as Ella flies from one disaster to the next in her quest to capture her very own Prince Charming.

CARDIFFELLA is a comic retelling of Cinderella set in present day Cardiff.


ABNA image.

I'm A Writer? Me??

 I think there may have been a few wires crossed somewhere, because apparently I am under the impression that I am a writer. I don't know what gave me this idea, because I am probably the least writerly person I know. Most of the time I put writerly things off for as long as I can, and surely this is a sign that I'm NOT a writer.

Writers also have this inbuilt skill when it comes to writing. Unlike me, they don't wrangle with typos and copious spelling errors. And they have magical understanding of grammar. They know all about colons and semi-colons, and those mysterious ellipses. They know exactly what 'first person' and 'third person' is, and don't get them muddled in a single paragraph. They know the proper use of apostrophes, and they know whether certain words are supposed to have capital letters.

And they certainly don't make up words willy-nilly and hope that nobody notices.

One thing I DO have in common with writers is the difficulty in writing a 'pitch' (which, I'm sure you have noticed, rhymes conveniently with 'bitch', an apt description of the pitch process if I ever I heard one).

But other than the tenuous bond over pitch writing, I can safely say that there's nothing much else in common between me and 'proper' writers. When I'm reading writerly blogs and tips, most of the time there's a little hobbit in my brain scratching his head and saying 'eh?' (Hmm, I've forgotten whether that question mark should go before or after the quote. See what I mean? Ugh).

Maybe I am a writer, but maybe I'm also a charlatan. Or maybe I'm just brain-addled over writing this bitch. Er, pitch. And maybe this post would have been better as a 'Who Am I?' post.

Maybe I should go now. *snort*

Image source.

My Bad...

Original Image

I've been a very bad Burrower. So bad, in fact, that I should receive a very good spanking. *nods hopefully* I missed two blogs. The first one really shouldn't have been missed, as I actually remembered that it was my turn, and even asked for some suggestions on my Facebook page. Somehow the Forgetful Fairy jumped on me though, and I never posted. And then I missed another one last week, and that one I forgot about entirely. *smacks self* I'm in need of a Reminding Prod a few days prior to blogging, obviously.

I've been absent on my personal blog too. In fact, the last time I blogged on there was October 16th, mid way through a challenge. Erk. Like I said, I've been a bad, bad, Burrower.

I never intend to forget. Indeed, I always tell myself that I must get my butt on a chair and start typing, both for here and my other blog. But you know, the longer you put things off (which is a procrastinator's favourite thing to do), the harder it is to get going again. So here I am, typing a little ramble so that I ensure not to miss three blogs in a row, because that would be beyond bad.

Luckily for me, it's 'Friday Free For All', which means I can talk about absolutely anything. This is good, because with my current non-blogging situation, I need something easy to get back in the habit.

In the interest of overcoming the badness with some goodness, I have allowed myself to be persuaded (I can be very convincing when I want to be) to pitch forth into the hitherto unknown abyss that is the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. Now ABNA (not to be confused with ABBA, as I said to Cruella the other day), is probably well known to each and every one of you, so I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say that I finally decided that the chick-lit-cum-fairy-tale-cum-comedy-farce that I wrote for 2009's NaNoWriMo (another acronym that I'm pretty sure you're all aware of) is a suitable candidate for this year's competition.

I have no illusions. Winning is a pipe dream, really. But what I really want to come out of this is a couple of reviews, so I'm hoping to get past the first stage. Trouble is, getting past that first stage means that I need a super-dooper pitch to hook the judges with. Argh!! I'm a writer who can take a while to get going, if you know what I mean, and most of my stories take a while before you get to the (hopefully) good stuff. This makes writing a 300 word pitch pretty tough. And with the way I ramble, I'll be lucky to solicit a vaguely interested sniff, never mind a twitching nose.

Still, it's not the winning, it's the taking part, right? Who started that ridiculous saying, anyway? Of course I want to win! I know I won't win, but I still want to! Pipe dreams do come true sometimes, don't they? As do fairy tales... at least, in my world they do.

Hey lookie! I wrote a post! I'm a good Burrower after all! Toodle-loo!

Ooh, I didn't know we could add a location to our posts! Nice!

Do's and Don't's When Writing A Wednesday Post

DO try to get out of it if you are stumped.
DON'T rely on getting out of it if you are stumped.

DO think of a few subjects and strategies for helping you to compose a post.
DON'T think that leaving it to the last minute will help in any way.

DO remember that this is supposed to be a helpful blog to aspiring writers.
DON'T forget that you are an aspiring writer too.

DO try to think of something that is both useful and hasn't been covered before.
DON'T resort to tried and tested means (or fall back on Taffing, even if youknowzitmakezsense like, innit?).

DO try to write something in advance so that you have time to tweak and perfect at your leisure.
DON'T  look at the time and think Crap! I have to get a post up in the next hour or I am doomed!

DO try to relax and take a few calming breaths.
DON'T freak out and start typing the first thing that comes to mind.

DO remember that the post doesn't have to be earth-shattering, and your readers are generally nice people.
DON'T get paranoid and start thinking that your readers are rolling their eyes at your stupidity.

DO remember that as long as you get something - anything! - posted, you have done your job.
DON'T think that the 'anything!' part of the above sentence means you can resort to a silly Do's and Don't's list.

Er...

Image borrowed from here.

ListMania

So it's Reading Monday, and I'm supposed to give you guys some kind of review on something that I have read recently. But this is me, and it is 'that' time of year, so I'm taking a slight detour. You see, I haven't actually read anything lately apart from emails and a few blogs. I managed to read something different last week though - my daughter's Christmas list. Every year we dig out the Argos book (Argos is the place to go if you want decent prices for anything from Barbie dolls to a new bed) and my kids go through and write down the things they would like to recieve on Christmas day. We have an understanding - they can write down pretty much anything, as long as they realise that they won't get everything they ask for. Mostly it's just a good way for mum and dad to get some ideas.

Anyway, the son was pretty predictable and mainly stuck to video games and DVD's. The daughter was pretty predictable too, but Ellie has a way of doing things that is funny. Totally unintentional, but funny. Here's a virtual copy of her list - I'll try to copy word for word, but may change a few things so that it is legible. *snort*

Ellie's Christmas List from the Argos catalog, and Play.com, and the internet.

Zhu Zhu puppies, the purple and pink glittery one.
Moxie Girlz lush pets.
Design a friend doll. The one called Ellie like me.
Rosy doll with the Hello Kitty top and sparkly jeans and nice bag.
Big fluffy bunny that talks and eats carrots. That's too much money though.
Shnooks. Any one, but not the green one.
Tamagotchi.
DS games. Grease and Wizards of Waverly Place. They're £25 if you buy two but they're not on Argos they're on play.com. and you can get them in Argos if you want but they're more money in there.
Connect 4  like Andrea's one that we play when she comes up.
Guess Who but the one that don't need batteries.
And an ipod if you can find one that's not too much money but if you can't can I have an MP3 player instead so I can listen to Justin Bieber because Dale doesn't like it when I play Justin Bieber on Youtube.

*coughs* Ah, nine-going-on-ten-year-olds. Aren't they fabulous?

Ellie Christmas!

Wild Week

Original image.

It seems like only yesterday that I last wrote a Delusional Thursday post, when in fact it was several weeks ago. The days are flying by so fast at the moment, that I'm pretty sure that if I blinked I would miss a few. I'm always saying that I'm a bit of a fruitcake, but seriously, with the rate that time goes by, and the amount of things I have to fit into those blink-and-you'll-miss-them days, it's no wonder my head doesn't always know where it's at.

Take the last week, for example. We are currently in high virus season, with bug after nasty bug making their rounds and causing most people to sniff, sneeze and cough on a regular basis. We are also in pre-Christmas season, so public transport is nuts, kids are starting to get hyper, and parents everywhere (including moi) are working any extra hours that they can get their hands on in order to fill their children's stockings to the brim.

On top of this, my household are part-way through a hospital/doctor/dentist visit marathon, or so it seems. Now usually I only work three days a week, so I normally try to schedule any medical appointments to fall on my days off if at all possible. That's not always the case though, as certain appointments are assigned to you and you end up back on a (usually long) waiting list if you try to re-schedule. This being the case, my timetable for last week went something like this:

Wednesday 9th November:  No work today, but dreaded dentist visit looms. Six injections in my lower mouth and one in the top to be endured before a twenty-minute scale and polish session. I'm mortally afraid of dentists, by the way, so while this wouldn't be anyone's favourite way to spend their morning, it's one of my worst nightmares. I'm still cringing now, over a week later. *shudders*

Thursday 10th November: Normal working day, with a 12pm till 6pm shift. So far so good.

Friday 11th November: Normal working day, with a little bitty 2pm till 6pm shift. Son was supposed to have an orthodontist appointment today which had to be rescheduled due to him having to sit a G.C.S.E. exam. Son is really poorly with flu-like symptoms, but has to attend the exam or I will be fined. Meanwhile, hubby is being a good friend and accompanying his mate to the dental hospital for some emergency treatment. Son is sent home from school as he is ill. I am at work and hubby is still being a good friend, so son is told to go to nanny's. Unfortunately, he goes to wrong nanny's (unbeknown to his parents), so we have mild panic attacks about his whereabouts and start wondering if he has collapsed somewhere on the streets. Or, at least, I do anyway. It's not good to be stuck at work when you are worrying about your kids.

Saturday 12th November: Crazily said 'yes' to overtime and have to work the 2pm till 10pm shift. The shift went like clockwork until 9.30pm, then everything went tits up (as we say here in Cardiff). I won't go into detail, but needless to say, I won't be working this shift again any time soon.

Sunday 13th November: Another overtime shift of 2pm till 10pm. OK, so I said I wouldn't do another one again, but I'd already agreed to do this one so I had no choice. The shift was fine in itself, but not being used to working these extra hours, I'm pretty tired. Especially as Sundays are nuts at the best of times for parents, what with school preparations and what-not, which usually take up Sunday evenings but had to be squeezed into a crazy hour in the morning before I left for work.

Monday 14th November: Normal working day, with a 12pm till 6pm shift. Also, appointment at doctor's for myself fitted in before going to work.

Tuesday 15th November: Day off! Yay! Only, Tuesday is shopping day, when I do my weekly thing of hunting for bargains and trying to buy a week's worth of groceries on a limited budget. Also, hospital appointment for myself to have my wrist x-rayed as I've been having a lot of trouble with it for the last five months or so.

Wednesday 16th November: Day off! No work, no hospitals, dentists, or any other appointments. Maybe I can actually clean my house and relax for a couple of hours. Only, son is home from school again, his cough having kept him up all night and causing some sickness. Hubby is also full of the stupid virus and sneezing and coughing like mad. Daughter is also home for a while as I am waiting for the doctor to phone back with some advice for her. Eventually I take her to school an hour late and then make my way to the doctor's to pick up a prescription for her.  So much for my doctor-free day.

Today my son had another orthodontist appointment, which had to be cancelled due to his virus. Hubby has dentist again tomorrow (he went yesterday too, did I forget to mention that?), and I am working overtime again both Saturday and Sunday. Not the dreaded 2pm till 10pm shifts, but early morning ones instead. Then my son has a hospital appointment with his A.D.H.D. specialist on Monday.

Phew! OK, this might not sound too much to most of you, but trying to remember all of these appointments when a) not all of them sent written notice of them, and b) I am a nightmare when it comes to writing things down, can be tricky. Re-scheduling things to fit in with my regular hours can also be tiresome. Add the overtime at work, and the annoyance of public transport not arriving when it should at this time of year, then this last week has been manic.

I admit, things are not always like this, but if it's not medical madness, or overtime madness, it's general family madness. It's no wonder I'm a fruitcake!

Furry Friends

Dipsy, my first feline baby.

While today's subject may not be strictly 'topical' as such, it's something that is close to my heart (and several other Burrowers too *winks at Leanne*). I'm a huge cat lover, and always have been. For as long as I can remember, there has been a cat as a family pet.


There were several as I was growing up, all of whom are in feline heaven now. There was Fluffy, who lived to the grand old age of seventeen and eventually died from cancer; Topsy, who, if I remember correctly, sadly disappeared one day. More recently, there was Gizmo, who was run over by a car and died from his injuries, and Simba, another adventurer who wandered away and never came back.

All of these were strictly my parents' cats, but they were still part of my family. I've only had three furry friends over the years, and two of them are still with me. My first baby, Dipsy (my son named her and was a Tellytubby fan at the time), was also one of those unfortunate cats who fall prey to speeding cars. She was a beauty, with thick tortoiseshell fur. She was also a bit grumpy (to say the least). She was most likely to hiss at you if you went too close, unless you were 'Mama'.

So why am I talking about felines? Well, we seem to be having a surge of pet problems around my neck of the woods. Two of my work colleagues have had pet deaths this week (one kitty and one hamster), and my parents ' latest furry friend - a massive fluffy tom going by the name of Thomas - has to have a biopsy this week to see whether a growth is cancerous or not.

Thomas is a rescue cat. My parents picked him a couple of years ago from a cat protection facility, and he was in a sorry state mentally when they first had him. We think his previous owner was elderly and couldn't get around a lot, and Thomas was probably the only companion that they had. My mother had to really baby him for a long time before he got used to his new home. He was nervous, didn't like to go outside (unless he was on a leash), and would cry in the night if he wanted to eat or see to his 'business'.  I hope his biopsy shows something that is treatable, he's such a character.

We invest so much time and love in our pets, and it's devastating when they leave us. I'm sending positive thoughts and cuddles to all those animals out there that are sick, or who just need a little love. They may not be human, but to many of us they are true friends, and as much a part of our families as our children.

On a happier note, here are some pictures of my two current babies, who are thankfully full of life and mischief!

Angel looking curious, while Belle looks on.

Couldn't work out if this was a cuddle or a scuffle.

This is definitely a 'cwtch'!

Delusional Co-workers.

You already know I'm delusional, but did you know that the people that I work with are delusional too? So delusional, in fact, that we have created another person. *nods*

This is Eric Spartan. To you he may be just a balloon with a blue wig, but to us he is Eric, zombie hunter extraordinaire. Okay, so the zombie part may be down to me *shifty*, but it was a friend who actually created Eric one night at work, while it was another friend who suggested zombies for one of my blogs and therefore gave me the idea to combine zombies and a blue-haired balloon into a fully fledged character.

He reads.

And he likes a drink or two.

Most important of all, he hunts zombies with one of my kitchen knives.

He's a good bloke, our Eric. And he fits in really well with me and my delusional friends.

Over To You

So it's reading Monday, and I have a confession to make. I haven't had time to read anything more than a few paragraphs at a time lately, never mind a whole book, and I'm suffering withdrawals. I'm planning on making some 'Me Time' this week, and have only one book lined up to read. A friend suggested the Brother Cadfael series by Ellis Peters, but my local library is pants and only had one of the books in stock - and book eight at that. I had a quick glance at the first chapter, and it looks like it's going to be easy reading. I'm a fast reader and I reckon I can get it finished in one sitting. I have a feeling I'll enjoy it (I trust my friend's judgement), and I also have a feeling that I'll be bitten by the Reading Bug when I've read it.

The Reading Bug strikes several times a year, and when I get bitten, I devour anything and everything in sight. My problem is, I have read all the books in my house at least three times, so I need something new. I want that buzz that you can only get when reading a book for the very first time. Seeing as my local library doesn't have a lot of choice, and I have to wait for my order of Cadfael books to arrive (they may have almost nothing in stock, but they will order stuff if you ask them nicely), I could do with some suggestions.

This is where you guys come in. Rather than me give you some recommendations, how about you give me some instead? Just one book. Your favourite book, the book that made you think, the book that got you wanting to write your own.

One book. No more, no less. What's YOUR recommendation?

Image from amazon.com.

Blogathongies

Accckkk!!!

I have to apologise for being late with today's post - I'm really sorry! Honest, I am! I thought I wasn't due to post until next Wednesday for some reason...

The thing is, I think part of the reason my brain screwed the weeks up is because, after quite a long break, I am posting daily on my own blog again, and it being NaBloWriMo, and with me being me (scatty at the best of times), I have requested, er, requests for the duration of the challenge. In other words, I have thirty topics to ramble about, with most, if not all, of them being things I have no clue about. My reader friends are a good bunch, but I have to admit, with topics ranging from dung beetles to rubber ducks, I'm a wee bit preoccupied with what the heck I'm going to write about. I covered Air Sex yesterday. No really, I did.

You may ask why I got myself into this pickle, but in all honesty, although I'm pretty much bricking it (sorry for the crudeness), I actually enjoy the challenge. Most of the posts will be pants, granted, but the exercise that my brain will get trying to put together posts on the most bizarre subjects on the planet (chemical toilets, anyone?) is really beneficial. For a procrastinator who also suffers with fluctuating confidence on the writing front, these blogathons are really, really great.

So I guess that's my little (very little - not only am I late posting, but I'm pushed for time too *shifty*) bit of writing advice for today. If you're in a slump, or just can't think of the Next Big Idea for your new writing project, ask for some suggestions from friends. Ask for a few key words to get your brain juices flowing. Write up a blog post, a short story, or whatever takes your fancy. It doesn't matter if it's the pantsiest thing you've ever written, it will get your brain working again, and that's what matters, right?

As for me, I'm off to write up today's post for my blog. Heck knows what it'll be about today, but that's half the fun!

Original image location.

TGIF

So I have about half an hour to cobble something together for today's post before I have to get ready for work. Yup, as usual, I have procrastinated until almost the very last moment before opening up Blogger. *shifty* You may notice that we have a new label today - 'Friday Free For All' - which is brilliant because this means I can ramble about anything. *shifty once more*

We are back to our regular five-a-week schedule at last! This is excellent news for me because, while the summer break was probably a very good idea for all involved, the lack of posting obligations has made my writing efforts of the last couple of months virtually non-existent. *shifty for the third time in a row* 

Anywho...

There are several things I could ramble about today. I could remind everyone of the two WriMo challenges which are on the horizon. Next month's NaBloWriMo, and the infamous NaNoWriMo in November. But I'm pretty sure that there are going to be infinite blogs spouting WriMo info at you during the course of the next few weeks.

I could put together a few paragraphs about my relief at resuming a fairly normal work schedule, not least the fact that I have returned to the relative freedom of only working 16 hours a week again. *sighs blissfully*

I'm pretty sure that wouldn't interest the majority of you, though.

I could, perhaps, venture on the subject of the imminent Facebook changes, which made 'big' news yesterday. I could wax lyrical about the inevitable complaints that will spring up in people's status updates over the next few weeks (until everyone gets used to the changes and completely forgets about how the 'old' Facebook looked like anyway).

Again, I foresee a good amount of blog posts covering this topic in the very near future, so I don't think my efforts will be required.

Maybe I could witter on about the fact that I don't know what I should blog about (as usual), and so I am just typing and typing and hoping a post will come together at the end of it.

Shoot. That's what I always do. *is four times shifty*

Anyway, here I am, it is Friday, and I have stuck to form and rambled about nothing in particular (which strangely fits in quite well with our old 'Who Am I Friday?' label). And so Burrowers, Books & Balderdash presents its first 'Friday Free For All' post for your (dis)pleasure. It's not much, but really, what do you expect to get when something is free? *is surely not going to say 'five times shifty' here*

*coughs*

Anyway... it really is nice to get back to our five-a-week schedule again, and I'm honestly looking forward to composing some tidy posts (apart from this one, obviously) in the future.

Have a great weekend, everyone, and see you all next week!


Image borrowed from here.

All Joking Aside

My first post after our summer break should be easy, as it's a 'Topical Tuesday'. There are many different subjects to choose from, and if I'm not inspired, I can always check out Google news, right?

As it turns out, I'm not. Inspired, that is. The last six weeks have been manic, what with extra hours at work and the the kids being on their summer holidays. Most days I didn't have time to think, never mind write anything. I've been pretty much AWOL from the internet since the beginning of August, so my writing skills are definitely rusty (or, if I'm going to be completely honest, rustier, because my writing muscles haven't been flexed properly for months). So as well as being uninspired, I'm a bit nervous about posting, too.

Anywho, I dutifully looked at Google news over the weekend to see if I could find something current that would inspire a few paragraphs. There was a ton of 9/11 stuff, which I steered away from because it is not a subject that I feel I could do justice with. On Sunday I read several pieces from people who were there when it happened, and as well as being very hard to read, they were beautifully done. My efforts are definitely not required.

There were other items in the news, obviously, but nothing was really grabbing at me, so I decided to check again on Monday evening. Decision made, I hit Facebook where my eyes were immediately drawn to a status update from a friend. It was a joke about the September 11th attacks. I won't repeat it here because, well, it was unrepeatable. Beyond poor taste. But it did inspire today's post. 

Whenever something awful happens, or a famous person dies, or something else bad that is so big that the entire world knows about it, you can guarantee that there will be 'jokes' flying around pretty soon after.  In these days of texting, status updates and tweeting, these jokes can start circulating within minutes.

We've all done it, whether we like to admit to it or not. Granted, most of the time we 'joke' about things that don't concern us personally, but that doesn't make it any better. Even if we haven't participated in the sharing of these jokes, we have laughed at them, even while thinking oh my God, that's terrible!

Then there are the 'jokes' that are racist, sexist, and any other 'ist' that you can think of. The homophobic jokes, the mother-in-law jokes, the jokes about disabilities, and all the other generally poor taste jokes that go around on a daily basis.

I think a lot of the time, people use humour to cope with grief (I know I have been guilty of this myself in the past), but these jokes don't come from people who are grieving. I don't know who comes up with these jokes, but it definitely isn't anyone with any respect for the people or the subject they are ridiculing. In an ideal world, I'd like to believe that there is only one person responsible for all of the sick jokes that come into being, but although it only takes a single person to start these things, we can't pin the blame on any one person for all of the sick humour from the last few thousand years.

These jokes will always be around, it's a sad part of human nature. And honestly, sometimes the jokes are funny and you can't help but laugh, even when you feel guilty for doing so. But there should surely be line drawn somewhere, shouldn't there? A joke about Michael Jackson's nose problems is, if there is a scale to judge by, surely less disrespectful than a joke about an event which killed almost 3,000 innocent people. Humour is supposed to cheer you up, make you smile, and give you a belly-ache from the severe laughing fit that just overtook you.  Humour isn't supposed to make you squirm.

There isn't a great deal we can do about these jokes. As long as people die, disasters happen, and tragedies occur, there will always be someone ready to turn it into a joke. The question is, how many of us will laugh?

Sadly, a lot more of us than we'd like to believe.

Image borrwed from here.

Manic Monday

Yes, I know...

See that above? That's as far as I got yesterday morning when I came in to cobble something together for this week's post (which should have gone up on Monday, by the way). Erk.

It's been a mad, mad week. It was my birthday last Sunday and I basically celebrated from Friday till Sunday night. Phew! Two nights of vodka-infused fun followed by a round of golf on Sunday afternoon (I've never played in my life, so that was fun *snort*), followed by an evening of Sambuca spritzers... yup, it's fair to say the weekend went by in a haze.

In the midst of all this, we are currently 'doing' the back yard. My back yard is huge - around 20 meters in length and 15 meters across - and up until last Friday it was more an extension to the neighbouring woods than a garden. There was no grass to be seen - heck you couldn't see the patio - because I had about twenty trees growing out there. Not to mention the brambles. And the critters? Never mind creepy crawlies, it was more like lions and tigers and bears, OH MY!

Ok, that was a slight exaggeration, but you know what I mean...

Anyway, currently my garden looks like this:

We've only kept one tree - a nice hazelnut - but all the others have been cut down. While I golfed (or pretended to *shifty*) on Sunday, the hubby jet washed the patio. Of course, we couldn't use the kitchen tap for the hose as we have a mixer tap and the thingie (don't know what it's called) wouldn't fit, so hubby fashioned something in the bathroom and had the pipe coming through the window. Yay! Only, as he was busy jet washing, the pipe kind of leaked and flooded the bathroom. Cue pulling up of carpet and mopping up pools of water. Not so 'yay'.


Monday was little better (hence the title of this post). Not content with flooding my bathroom, the Water Fairies decided that my kitchen needed a little extra water too. My daughter was playing with some water bombs with her friends, and filling them up at my kitchen sink. Quite how she managed to soak the entire floor is beyond me, but never mind. She also soaked the worktop and the inside of the cupboard under the sink. I dutifully mopped everything up (amid cursing at the daughter) and thought that was that. But... (you knew this was coming, right?) later that day, as I went to put the washing machine on, disaster struck. I picked up my huge 25 wash box of soap powder (which I'd only used once), and walked across to the machine, and found myself walking through a pile of soap powder. The box had gotten wet during the earlier flooding, you see, hence the bottom fell through. Ugh. Trying to clean up soap powder on a still-damp floor with a still- damp sweeping brush is kind of impossible.

Anyway, most of Monday was spent cleaning up and what-not, and then I had work on Tuesday and Wednesday, followed by helping the hubby in the garden duties, so I clean forgot about blogging. Then fellow Burrower Leanne messaged me with a 'Pssst!' on Wednesday night and I went 'Acccckkk!'. I decided to write my post yesterday, calling it 'Manic Monday', and giving a slightly more twisted version of the week's events to loosely link with our general Thursday theme of 'delusional'. Then, after typing the title and a mere three words, my sister turned up for the day. I'd originally cancelled the weekly visit, and I forgot that I'd cancelled the cancellation... oops.

Anyway, by the time she went home, it was late and my brain was word-free. So here I am, cobbling together a post before I shoot off to work. Never mind 'Manic Monday', it's been a manic week. I'm seriously considering basing a character in a future novel on myself, but I don't think she would be believeable. Unless I was writing a farce.

Yeah. That could work.