14 April 2011

Dear Future Mr. Moneybags

Sassy, entertaining tart obsessed with writing seeks Philanthropist, Investor or Sugar Daddy*

* When I say Sugar Daddy, you need to understand this is an honorary title, like the PhDs imparted to politicians and nobility at graduations across the country about a month from now... you get to flaunt the title, but really, it is for MY benefit...


Requirements: Ability to send large checks, preferably about ten grand a month (I need to pay off some debt and I'd really like to go to some conferences, hire a web designer... and take my kids on a vacation... you see, they've never been to Disney World, so this isn't all that unreasonable...


What you get in return: A warm, good feeling that you are helping an author achieve her dreams! And I promise to THANK YOU in every book (and on my blog and website! That is publicity!). And if you can talk my husband into it and are either particularly attractive, bad boy sexy, unnaturally bendy or can make me laugh so hard I cry, we can discuss a little physical somethin somethin on the side...




What I will Do When I have a Benefactor


WRITE: I promise I will dedicate at least 3 hours to writing and 2 hours to promotion every day, in addition to my hour of blog-writing and hour of PLAY promotion (ie, Facebook, Twitter)

Exercise: I will work out 90 minutes daily in the gym membership YOU will provide! Sometimes I will do a class (aerobics or something) sometimes I will power walk and then do weights, sometimes I will swim... good to mix it up a bit. But with YOUR investment, I will look GOOD!

Eating: I will eat more fruits and veggies. I will eat organic... I will even hire a chef for 3 nights a week to give my hubby a break so that he is more content cooking healthy stuff!

Research: I will be able to GO PLACES to do research! This will make my books even better!


So if you are seeking an artist to support, I'm your girl!

4 comments:

Tundiel said...

Ha! I gotta get me one of these too... particularly a 'bendy' one. *winks*

ViolaNut said...

Yeah, I need to borrow this ad too, methinks... I've been having a little debate with my favourite gayboy at work about which one of us deserves to get a sugar daddy first. *snort*

Hart Johnson said...

teehee--It would be SO NICE, wouldn't it... I'd prefer to be INdependently wealthy, but as I have no rich relatives lining up to die for me... I will take dependently wealthy.

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