I Write Like...

It’s been all over the blogosphere. It’s been on Facebook. It’s been on the news. I think it probably was delivered on a silver tray to Queen Elizabeth herself.


I Write Like is the newest "it", and writers everywhere are flocking around "it" to check "it" out. In case you have been living in a cave the last few weeks, let me explain it ("it") to you.

I Write Like uses an algorithm (which is geek speak for something to do with numbers, I think) to analyze text pasted into a box on the website. Within seconds it comes up with a nifty little badge that tells the world what famous (or in some cases, not so famous) author whose writing yours compares to.

According to the I Write Like Blog, the algorithm is similar to that used in spam filters. It recognizes certain words (though, unlike spam filters, these don’t necessarily start with a "V" and end with "iagra"). In addition, it looks at such things as the number of words per sentence, usage of punctuation and so on.

While it is amusing, I Write Like is hardly accurate, as many authors have discovered over the last few days. I’ve seen Facebook updates where the author is thrilled/terrified to have discovered that they are writing like Dan Brown. I have read articles where famous authors are being told they write more like other famous authors, then like themselves. And apparently no matter what you write as long as it’s got a few of the Harry Potter character names in it, you "write like JK Rowling".

Personally I have pasted in snippets from several WiPs (they all got different "likes" – ranging from H.G. Wells to David Foster Wallace to Kurt Vonnegut. Interestingly, I always get James Joyce when I paste something in Norwegian… I had no idea Joyce wrote in Norwegian…). I also tried pasting in a blog post or two, and it threw me off my chair when my Monday rant about my many WiPs earned me an "I Write Like William Shakespeare" badge. How that happened, I have NO clue…

Anyway, as has been noted by wiser folks than me, I Write Like is not particularly accurate or useful, but it sure is entertaining. To prove this, I have the following to share:

There once was a little spider. He carefully spun his web, tightening every hole, making the web both beautiful and strong.

His web was his greatest pride. His ambition was to make a web that would never break.

He spun and he spun, he weaved and he weaved.

But every time he thought he had accomplished his task, he would see dark clouds form in the horizon, and he knew what would come.

The rain never failed to break his beautiful web.

Drip, drip. Those first few drops would only get caught in the web like a fly, and they hung there making the web even more beautiful than before. Sometimes the little spider would admire the drops, and hope that the rain would not become heavier, so that his web would hold.

Unfortunately, this was never the case.

Drip, drip, drip. With each drop the rain got heavier and heavier.

Finally, the web did break, and the spider was forced to start over again.

One day the spider was tired of making new webs all the time.

He decided to move to a more secure location.

He climbed into a pipe, up, up, up the pipe he went, and finally he saw light in the other end of the tunnel.

It was a large space, more than enough for a beautiful web, and it even had handy little nooks and crannies where the spider could fasten his web.

He spun and he spun, he weaved and he weaved.

The web grew larger each day, and more beautiful than anything the spider had ever made. He was more proud of this web than of any of his previous attempts.

For three whole days the spider worked on his new web, and he started to believe that finally he had managed to make an unbreakable web. He was walking along one of the threads of his web – directly where the pipe he had come up from met the white surface that now was nearly covered with his beautiful web. All of a sudden the spider was startled – he heard a sound. A shadow fell over him, and he run to cover. It was no cloud, but all the same he could hear a strangely familiar sound. Drip, drip.

This silly doodle I wrote after an encounter with a spider in the shower. However, according to I Write Like, this story has greater potential than I ever imagined:

I write like
J. R. R. Tolkien

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

As for the spider? He was flushed away. After he destroyed the Ring of Power, of course.