15 July 2010

Delusional Thursdays: Dreaming A Little Dream

So I have these big dreams.  No, I mean BIG dreams, but don't we all.  As delusion is a specialty of mine, here are my aspirations: I plan to become a professor at a prestigious university, become the "Go-to" expert on anything to do with students with disabilities (via majoring in Neuroscience, earning my second Master's Degree plus a Doctorate), become a renowned published author and own a million dollar mansion so that I will never have to wait to use the bathroom again.  Ever!  If you have children, you can understand my desperation (especially with two teens and a seven year old).

I find that the older I get, the more I have allowed the world to influence my dreams.  When I was a kid, there was no limit to who or what I would become.  I was told by family members that there was nothing stopping me from achieving my goals and dreams.  I remember wanting to become a doctor, a fireman, and a secretary.  Not separately, but all at once! 

However, I reached puberty and got a little distracted.  Yes, boys and teen peer pressure got in the way of my keeping a level head in junior high school and my early high school years.  I decided then that I would become a secretary at some large corporate firm in Downtown Manhattan and learn the ins and outs of a typewriter or word processor.  Hey, it was the mid to late 80's and these archaic machines were the only means available. My home life was hell.  It didn't help that I grew up in poverty and everyone around me was either on drugs or abused alcohol.  I felt that my life would reflect that of my parents.

Furthermore, during my high school years, my very encouraging English teachers told me I could not write an essay to save my life.  Not in those words exactly but it was heavily implied through the tossing of my papers to the desk or the typical "eyes raised heavenward" look that indicated I was a complete failure at writing.  Never once did I think to be a teacher nor a writer.  Three majors later, I really had no direction, something happened during my umpteenth year of college.  Professor H. read my papers and told me that with a few corrections, edits and revisions, my paper would be an A+.  I almost died!  Who knew that all you need is the world to stop beating you up and have someone believe in you.



Consequently by my senior year in high school, the world beat me down just a little more and by this time I just wanted to go to college.  Although I majored in Business Administration (I didn't even know what that meant at the time), I realized that I had no idea what I wanted to be.  I had no goals, no plan and no real ambition.  To earn a doctorate in medicine meant endless years in college plus two years as an intern.  I no longer had any interest in becoming a fireman (thanks to Backdraft) and the exciting life of an executive assistant no longer enticed me (thanks to Working Girl). 


However, this little girl from the Bronx, trudged on.  I finished college, obtained a Master's degree, became a special education teacher and have a wonderfully supportive, immediate family.  I still have obstacles ahead- finishing one of the three WIP's, applying for my second Master's and finding an agent once I finish my first WIP.  However, I know that I'll get there as long as I keep dreaming a little dream . . .

Image courtesy of: 
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:BlackSheba-Text.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wagner_College_From_End_of_Parking_Lot.jpg

11 comments:

Hart Johnson said...

Keep on dreaming, Chary! I find it so sad when people in positions of authority trample the dreams of others. I guess I think they should be somewhat realistic--sharing "that will really be a lot of work--are you ready to work really hard?" so kids learn those things don't just HAPPEN, but they need to leave the candle burning so if somebody IS willing to work that hard, they can get there.

Jemi Fraser said...

As a teacher, nothing makes me crazier than hearing of teachers trampling on dreams - we're supposed to be the ones who open doors, the ones who teach the kids to open themselves and stretch for those dreams.

ViolaNut said...

Indeed - there are few people who have such a profound influence, for good OR ill, as teachers. I tell my students that I know an awful lot of things NOT to do from the bad ones in my past, and try my very hardest to emulate the best teachers who have helped me along the way. Keep dreaming! :-)

Cruella Collett said...

Go for it, Chary! Our dreams are important - not only to achive them, but the process of working towards them as well. I'm so very glad you managed to overcome your teacher's bad judgement, and glad that you as a teacher are aware of the dangers of underestimating students.

Keep on dreaming! :)

Chary Johnson said...

Hart, thank you. I will keep dreaming and reaching for the stars. I hated that some people (read here- teachers)do not realize how influential they can be on the lives of our youth. So I will keep on going on and that'll show those pessimists! :P

Chary Johnson said...

Jemi,

I have the same exact philosophy- open doors, every student can learn and shoot for the stars, you just may reach the moon! Thanks for your kind comment.

Chary Johnson said...

ViolaNut,

Thanks. I will keep dreaming.

Chary Johnson said...

Thanks Cruella. Like Leanne said, I try to emulate the best qualities of teachers and leave the rest behind. Our job, no correction, our duty is to facilitate and nurture our youth so that they can grow to be productive and efficient members of society. I always keep this in mind inside and outside of the classroom.

Marjorie said...

I get what you mean about dreams. I'm still dreaming. The only difference now is that I know what I want, and I have a plan. Before I was worried what others would think if I made a plan. Now they will have to follow or be left behind.

Chary Johnson said...

Marjorie,

That is wonderful that now you have a plan and some direction for your goals and dreams. These are two very important components when reaching one's aspirations.

Rayna M. Iyer said...

Chary, the more I hear about your childhood, the more I admire you. How could anyone who had as much c*** throw at her as you have grow up to be such a wonderful friend, mother, sister, wife, teacher and writer (I am sure I have got the order all mixed up, but randomise is currently one of my favourite words).
Keep dreaming, Chary, because life is incomplete without dreams you can work towards.