05 November 2010

The Tart, Dis-robed

(yeah. That was unexpected. YOU! No eye rolling!)


I’m not sure I am best placed for the first ‘Who am I?’ Friday blog topic here at Burrowers, Books & Balderdash. I have been blogging about it for over a year now, and at least a significant number of you have a pretty good idea. I’m the nut. Among my fellow Burrowers, I am at no shortage for co-conspirators in silliness, but I’m pretty sure I’m the most obnoxious. And I just sort of… do that… you know... get naked and end up with more attention than I really ought to merit.

I think mostly I’ve been framed… Troublemakers in a room (or forum) spot me and can see I can’t resist, so they dangle some nefarious activity temptingly in front of me, and there I go… you know… the FOMS…

What? You’ve never heard of FOMS? Maybe then, THAT is where we should start… FOMS is Fear of Missing Something. I was born with it. First to the party, last to leave, because Digression forbid something HAPPENED when I wasn’t there to be at the CENTER of it!

And before you think it’s all about me… well okay… so it’s all about me… you see… I’m an only child. And both parents worked when I was young, leaving me a latch-key kid. [did you know that the original definition of DORK was a poor kid whose parents both worked so he had a DOORKey? Yeah... I was a Dork. /digression]  I was under-stimulated as a child--too much TV and not enough interaction, and I’ve got some making up to do. (are you buying this? anybody?)

Maybe a little psychoanalysis would help…

Me mum… is very hard-working. And she was brilliantly supportive that I could do ANYTHING I set my mind to. And what she used to SAY to me was, “If you got your dad’s smarts, and my ability to work hard, there is nothing that can stop you.”

Did you see that sleight of hand? No… well no, because you only have half the information… Here’s some more…

My DAD… was a great big KID. He was loud, obnoxious, playful… he drank too much… (and you may think this is sounding familiar, but...) and he never really DID apply himself, so in spite of being smart, he didn’t get very far.

But I could SEE that this hard-working mum was not having ANY FUN AT ALL (I’m not really convinced she knows HOW to have fun… badly over-developed sense of responsibility). And this no-achievement dad was never going to make anything of himself.

The trick my mother applied was in KNOWING I didn’t want to be like her (hard working but not having any fun), so she added in my dad’s quality… the smarts… so I APPLIED my mother’s quote… and then I twisted it… like my dad would have done...

I would be as smart as dad, and work as hard as mom… but being as smart as dad meant PLAYING as hard as dad—because isn’t it actually SMART to have a lot of fun? So the result is a work hard/play hard approach…

To BEST play hard, one needs PLAYMATES. And while I don’t object to a lot of men in very few clothes and bunny ears, I really like people to laugh with… THAT would be the motivation behind me… and why I do what I do... to draw y'all into my web of madness so we can have just a little more fun than we otherwise might...

So there.

[picture taken by Paul... my classmate]
[Future Tart topics:  Ann Arbor, where reality never comes; Moscow, Idaho, home of the warped mind; Hart Writes, a little more personal step by step on my writing journey]

8 comments:

Cold As Heaven said...

Work hard and play hard looks like a good plan. I have always spent to much time working, trying to change that ... you should have seen my bunny ears >;)

Cold As Heaven

LTM said...

oh. Look at that face! Of course you're up to something. LOL! :D

moms are so sneaky... I wonder if I can be sneaky like that. :D

Are you serious about the dork thing? B/c if so, I just learned something new. ;p

Hart Johnson said...

CaH-dust off those bunny ears and put 'em on! I know you need to start a roaring fire to dress scantily... what with it snowing already in your neck of the woods, but bunny ears always help to maintain a playful mood.

Leigh-totally serious on the dork thing... or so I heard it, and it makes sense--that it is a poverty slander. And I have total faith in your ability to be sneaksy!

Boonie S said...

Nice photo. Interesting post.
Is that Dork thing true? Oh you've answered that whilst I've been typing.

All the best, Boonie

Shaharizan Perez said...

Interesting how our father's are quite similar. Mine worked hard until the alcoholism and drug abuse dictated his life. Then he was playing to hard and did nothing else.

Excellent post!

Hart Johnson said...

Boonie-thank you!

Chary-Yeah, I don't think my dad was bad about hard work in spurts--he was always employed. He just didn't have the persistence to make and follow a plan... and then died driving drunk, so who knows if he would have outgrown it--he was only 31, and it's a well-known fact the average age of the first sign of maturity in men is 35... average meaning there is a wide range, but...

RaShelle said...

Hart - What a great pic! You look like you're having too much fun. And, it's always good to take the best of our parents. I hope my kids don't take my craziness. Sounds like you're doing great.

Hart Johnson said...

Yeah, i worry a bit about passing on some of that challenging stuff to my kids. Hubby's not always a bastion of stability and you can probably guess the problems I have acting 'the sane one' I just try to be honest about it (that is what worked from my mom to me, i think)