So I figure anybody can review a book they've read, but I thought I'd give a little sample of my SUPERPOWER and review some books I've never read. Before you think I'm psychic, I should let you know... my SUPERPOWER, is actually MISATTRIBUTING. (for a definition, see our handy Burrowictionary)
Reviews of books I've never read:
AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner: So layer this depressing topic over the wordiest man in the history of literature? I think not.
BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley: HELLOOOOOO. MAN BOOK.
THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger: Now this is a FABULOUS book. It HAS to be. You know why? Because Salinger wrote naked in the bathtub, just like somebody else you know... I really need to get to this one...
DUNE by Frank Herbert: Okay, now this one SEEMS really cool. I WANT TO WANT to read it.... but I don't WANT to.
THE FRENCH LIEUTENANT'S WOMAN by John Fowles: So like, this was the MOVIE I went to on my first car date ever, and I had a crush on Dave for a good long time. So this story has a soft spot for me. But the movie mixed it up and had actors FILMING the movie, as well as the movie... so there was this time jumpy thing. There is NO FREAKING WAY the book had that, cuz like movies weren't invented yet, right? So I'm pretty sure the movie version is lots better.
GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN by James Baldwin: Isn't this a song? I could swear we used to sing this when I had to go to choir at the church on Thursday after school when I was in elementary. I can't see a book being made into that song as all that interesting... seems awfully... inspirational, and I can't abide inspirational literature.
HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad: Is this the Red Badge of Courage guy? Because I don't think I've ever read a book as painful as Red Badge of Courage, unless you maybe count Twilight. NOT INTERESTED (even if it's NOT the same guy, I'm still not interested because it reminds me of it).
OF HUMAN BONDAGE by W. Somerset Maugham: So let's hear it for a little erotica!
INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison: All I can say about this, is it better be told from the PoV of the invisible guy, or you got nothing to work with.
THE NAKED AND THE DEAD by Norman Mailer: I am not sure I've seen this title before, but I have one thing to say. Norman Mailer is a TART. (which I know he would appreciate)
THE SATANIC VERSES by Salman Rushdie: Okay, now THIS sounds intriguing. I could learn to be not just NAUGHTY, but EVIL! Okay. Got the Tart endorsement!
THE SCARLET LETTER by Nathaniel Hawthorne: Are you KIDDING ME? A book about a character who gets basically branded for meeting life's most basic need? (erm... other than breathing and eating, anyway)... Though it DID amuse me to learn in my college lit class that in America sex was FATAL until the 17th century... but that makes this book late for its time.
ULYSSES by James Joyce: See, I have real mixed feelings here. Ulysses reminds me a little of Odysseus, and the Odyssey is a pretty spanking, good time, but Ulysses sounds all stuffy, like, right? But then James Joyce... any dude with a boys AND a girls name is surely a cross-dresser, and so that's promising, right? I figure this one is fun in parts and all uppity in parts.