02 June 2011

Oz? I don't THINK so...

I'm writing this post Wednesday night - there is a major light show going on outside, complete with celestial percussion section, heavy rain, and tornado watches/warnings/whatever they are. Which got me to thinking, if a tornado did pick up my house and whirl it away, would Oz really be my preferred destination?

I'm thinking not. For starters, there are NO DRAGONS in Oz. Seriously? You have Munchkins and Winkies and flying effing monkeys, but no dragons? This is a major problem. So's the desert of killer sand that surrounds the place. And the wicked witches (have enough of those in my real life, thanks). Lions and tigers and bears, oh no... I think I'll head for some other fantasy land, if you don't mind.

In my personal over-the-rainbow, first of all it should never, ever, get above 70 F. Maybe 72, if it's cloudy. Mornings? Yeah, those are for sleeping, none of this early bird rubbish. Dragons, as previously mentioned; those are a must. And kitties and otters and hedgehogs (those should talk, while we're at it, just for the hell of it, though they don't need to do my laundry or anything). Lots of open spaces, and climbable trees, and absotively posilutely ginormous libraries which won't yell at you if you take their books up into the trees. Coffee is the official beverage, nobody's ever heard of cellulite, there are definitely no rude customers, and as for money, screw that. This is the land of plenty, damnit, and there sure as hell is no need for health insurance. Chocolate, damn, almost forgot that... ooh, and avocados, but not cilantro.

Hmmm. The storm seems to have passed. No tornadoes. And it's dark, so no rainbows either. Well, so much for that idea... Guess I'll be seeing you all in this reality again after all!

Image: from the 1st edition (1900)


James C. Wallace II said...

Actually, there are dragons in Oz. Here's a link to a Wiki article about them and Tik-Tok of Oz, which features dragons!


ViolaNut said...

Really? Either I missed that one or it's been so long since I read it that I forgot. Should've known you'd be the one to ask though! :-)